Whitey

October

2010-10-28T17:03:00.000-07:00

One day, a man was at the barber, having a haircut. The barber then started a conversation with him and the barber said to the man, "Do you know that i do not believe that God exists?" The man replied "why?"

The barber said, "Well, if there is a God, why is there so much sufferings in the world? So many troubles. The world is a big mess. So, when i see all these, i don't believe that God exists."
The man thought he better not argue with the barber as after all, he is holding the blade. So he just kept quiet and let the barber continue talking.

After the haircut, the man thanked the barber and he walked out of the door. Just as he stepped outside, he saw another man, who was unshaven, with long messy and dirty hair.
The man quickly pulled the other man into the barber shop and he said to the barber,
"Hey, do you know that i also do not believe that barbers exist?"
The barber replied, "What do you mean? I just gave you a haircut, made you clean and neat"
However, the man said, "No no, there is really no such thing as barbers in this world at all! If there were really barbers, there will be no such person as this man here in the streets! There will be no one with long dirty hair and unshaven at all."
The barber replied,"That is because he did not come to me. If he would have come to me and looked for me, i would have cleaned him up and given him a haircut and made him look really good"
The man said, " Yes, it is the same with God also. If only we would humble ourselves and come to Him, to seek Him and ask for help, the world will not have been such a mess today."

Amen

June 2010

2010-06-02T00:28:00.000-07:00

Its already June and the year is half way thru. As i look back at the posts i made, it is scary how time flies. Its been an eventful first half of the year for me. haha! I have so much to say, so much to tell that i cannot pen it down anymore.

I recall a scene from American Beauty, something i watched years ago. A harmless plastic bag being tossed and blown about in the wind. The scene is said to be so beautiful that one will find it hard to breathe, choked with so much emotion.

I thought that was strange but it took me a while to understand what it means. I think i posted this before somewhere but not sure where it is. Life is indeed ugly at times but so beautiful! Amazingly beautiful that u are so filled with the beauty that it chokes you u struggle to breathe.

I think i am weary. Spiritually and also mentally. Tired. haha! I also dunno.

Anyway, i do know that God is good and He loves me.

He is my everything, He is my all.
He is my everything, both great and small
He gave His life for me, made everything new
He is my everything, now how about you.

Praise the Lord.

Amen.

Main point: Being sure

2010-01-29T09:25:00.000-08:00

Today's Scripture Union has a strong and encouraging message for everyone, both Christians and non Christians and i wanted to share with everyone.

1 John 5:13-21
Concluding Affirmations
13 I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. 14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.
    16 If you see any brother or sister commit a sin that does not lead to death, you should pray and God will give them life. I refer to those whose sin does not lead to death. There is a sin that leads to death. I am not saying that you should pray about that. 17 All wrongdoing is sin, and there is sin that does not lead to death.
    18 We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the One who was born of God keeps them safe, and the evil one cannot harm them. 19 We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one. 20 We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true by being in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.
    21 Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.

Main point: Being sure
Consider what difference it makes to your daily life to know that you have eternal life. So many of our anxieties relate to fears about the future. John repeatedly assures the early Christians that their future is entirely secure with Christ. Ours is too!

Secure in Christ
What does this security look like in your life? Does it give you confidence in prayer (vs 14,15)? Does it help you to be friendly and caring towards other Christians, including watching out for their spiritual well being (vs 16,17; see Galatians 6:1–3)?

Does it lead you to practise in your behaviour now all that will prepare you for heaven, where there will be no sin (vs 18,19)? Does it inspire you to grow in your knowledge and understanding of this wonderful Saviour, Jesus Christ (v 20)?

Sin that leads to death?
No one is entirely sure what the ‘sin that leads to death’ is (v 16), but it probably refers to those who were once in the church and have now left and are teaching against the truth of Christ (see 2:22). What there is agreement on is that if you are worried that you’ve committed it, then you certainly haven’t!

Being sure of God
We can expend a lot of energy on worrying about our doubts, being anxious about the future and feeling very insecure. John would urge us to be absolutely sure of God, to believe what he says about his Son Jesus, to live a life of love and reflect the light and purity of God’s character in how we behave.

Praise The Lord!

Amen.

January 2010

2010-01-19T11:40:00.000-08:00

We are at 2010 at last. Where did all the years go? lol! Yes, its a new year and again for me, a new chapter in my work. Looking back, i would say that i have learnt alot about the working world, about life and about myself. In the last 1.5 years, i think i have learnt alot and the experience is both enriching and invaluable. I felt i have learnt more in my 1.5 yrs here than the last 9 years of working in my previous companies.

In a sense, it gave me a new insight into myself that i did not know or realise. I suddenly feel my age.

However, as a Christian, i am often felt i am not growing alot. I have always things that i am still carrying them and not leaving it to the Lord. The weight of it can sometimes be heavy but still, i do know i sometimes still insist on carrying them. lol! The world news makes it no lighter as it is often depressing. Problems, people falling from grace, the lies uncovered and others dun exactly paint a nice picture of what the world is today.

But still, we give thanks to the Lord because He promises that He will always be with us forever. He knows our every strength and weakness. He knows our flaws and i know it is no use covering or giving excuses for things because the Lord knows. When u come before Him and confessing and just tell it as it is, the weight often is lifted.

Jesus says love your enemies and pray for them. I tried but i decided to tell the Lord that i dun really feel like praying for them. haha! Yes, its not Christian-like but yes, that is what i feel and i confess it to God. I said i cannot love this enemy because i just cannot. Strange as it sounds but instead of saying a prayer for them and asking the Lord to bless them but secretly grudgingly doing so, when i confess it to the Lord, i actually experience the peace and i know that i can now really pray for them and ask the Lord to help them and myself to change.

His strength is made perfect in our weakness. Its like love i guess. U are at your weakest when someone else has the power to make u happy or sad and when u no longer have control over that. However, it is also at this time that u are at your strongest because of the fact that u are in love.

Things naturally become valuable when they are limited. Paintings by famous painters fetch alot when there are no more new paintings available. Life itself is valuable because of death. Strange irony. We treasure life because we know that we dun have eternity to enjoy it. Everyone of us has the same fate, no matter who u are.

Life is not about climbing the coporate ladder, nor is it about relaxing and taking things easy. Life is about being happy and sharing that joy that Jesus came to give us. There is eternal life beyond this life and that is the prize that Jesus is saying and we are encouraged to run the race and fix our eyes on the prize.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteouness and all these things will be added unto you.

If the sparrows who neither reap or sow but our Heavenly Father feeds them, how much more precious are we?

For God so loved the world that He gave us His only begotten Son so that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.

We have an all powerful, merciful and loving God. Give thanks to God for His great love, mercy and grace.

And everyone who calls on Jesus, they will be saved!

Praise the Lord!

Amen!

November 09

2009-11-17T23:36:00.000-08:00

I used to think 2010 was some far away year and by then, we did be so advanced we could be travelling by air as a means of normal public transport. lol!

Well, i think in a way, technology has made us "fly" thur the internet. We are zooming from MSN to FB to Twitter and whatever new stuff that is on the pipeline.

At times, i wish i could just cry out for time to just slow down a little. Maybe i shd be telling myself to slow down a little. Time flies and at broadband speed at that as well.

I worry more these days. Much more and often i cannot help it. Of course Jesus says do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has its own worries. Well, its hard not to worry sometimes. I realise one of my biggest worry is letting people down. I think i will freeze at the thought that someone felt i had let them down. Carrying someone else's weight of expectations on your shoulders is not easy and unwise as well. And yet, to know i had fallen short of one's expectations really depresses me. I felt a sense of uselessness and guilt. I did kick myself over it and to be honest, i hate it when someone makes me feel like this. I think for both work as well as relationships, i take it harder i guess than most people.

Of course, there is the rationale of why let other people's views affect u? It is their perspective and their self imposed weight of expectations anyway. I never promised anything. This reminded me of how i felt when i am watching Liverpool. I always wanted the best for them, to win every game and i always rooted for them! However, when they lost games they shd have won, i hated them for making me feel disappointed. But then again, its all me. I wanted the win! I wanted them to be Champions. I wanted them to beat the heck of out Manchester United. haha!

Anyway, i remembered i cried when Liverpool lost 0-2 to Arsenal to lose the league title on the last day of the season. I think i was only nine years old then. I could not sleep the whole night and i finally fell asleep out of exhausion. Yeah, i was that kind of a fan (or fanatic)

Anyway, work has not been ideal. Has not been for a while but who really has the perfect job? lol!

But i do believe i have my priorities right. I thank God for His love, mercy and grace. I know at times i read the Bible or Daily Bread but my mind actually wonders and i am reading the words but i am not getting the intended message.

Christmas is just next month and what a wonderful day it is, where our Lord Jesus was born. God has sent Him to redeem us from sin and to give us eternal life.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things on earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His Glory and Grace.

Yes, my friends, when we turn our eyes to Jesus, the glory of our Lord dims everything else. Work problems, quarrels, anger, jealousy and hatred suddenly seems strangely trival when we turn our eyes to our Lord.

Praise God!

Amen

May 09

2009-05-19T16:04:00.000-07:00

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, so that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16

Many people still dun know God. Some are still searching but many really cannot care less. Some are not sure.

Its not surprising that many people do not know God. Many in the first place dun see the need to find Him. "What for?", they ask or "So what?"

The world is a fallen place. Its true. All of us are born with capability to do evil. Its our tendency to do evil rather than do good. Even when we are kids, we dun like to share the things. We want it all to ourselves. We are born of the world so we behave and act like the world. That is why we call it "worldly and spirtual views". Worldly views refer to things of the world while spirtual views refers to the views that are from God. So, as we are born of the world, we inheirt the worldly views. That is why the Bible tells us that everyone is borned a sinner because we are from the world. And the wages of sin is death.

But God created us in His image and He loves us because we are His creation. But because Adam and Eve has sinned from the beginning, we are all borned sinners. But God wants us to have eternal life. His plan was for us to live with Him. But Adam and Eve were tricked and ate from the tree of knowledge. Thus God drove them out of the Garden of Eden before they could eat the fruit from the tree of life and live forever.

But God sent Jesus 2000 years ago to redeem us from our sins. Before Jesus was borned, people sacrifice sheeps, rams and lambs as an atonement for their sin. The sacrifice of the lamb was for the sins of man and the priest normally does that so that God can forgive the people for their sins. However, Jesus came to be the lamb and He would be crucified so that the sins of all mankind will be taken away. Because Jesus paid the price for our sins, we do not have to pay the price for our sins. It has already been paid by the blood of Jesus, who died for our sins so that we will not need to die for our sins. God then said that since our sins have been washed away, all we have to do is to believe why Jesus came and we will have eternal life, which was what God had planned for us in the beginning.

So, why John 3:16 is so important because people who believe who Jesus says He is will be saved. Its that simple. Forgiveness has already been given to us. We do not have to earn it. Some religions emphasise that we have to do good and be a good person to attain eternal life. While this is good because people will receive the love and care, it differs from Christianity. We do good and become good because we already have received the eternal life. We are given eternal life because God loves us. Not because we are righteous or because we do good. We have eternal life because of the grace of God. Thus, no one can earn it. By being a vegeterian will not earn u eternal life. Neither will meditating and doing all the good things in the world earn u eternal life.

So, every religion in the world that teaches good looks the same on the surface. It has the same principles which is to love people, do good, be a nice person but yet there is a very very small yet very important difference. That difference is John 3:16. We have to acknowledge God sent his Son to die for our sins. Not believing in that means u reject the truth that God has saved u thru the blood of Jesus. So, if u reject that or dun believe in that, then u give up the gift that God wants to give you.

So, that is why Christians are very worried that people miss this small but yet vital information. No other religion talks about this. Only the Bible. No other religion says their God created the trees, birds, sky or people. Only the Bible. The enemy cannot deny this. So, what the enemy does is to omit or twist it. As long as no one in the world believes in Jesus, they can do all the good but they will never have eternal life. That is the objective of the enemy. The enemy hates us very much.

So as Christians, we struggle because we are both worldly but yet we know that spirtual view. Its a conflict that we face everyday. God tells us to love everyone, even your enemies but the world teaches us to eliminate all our enemies. God says we have to love our enemies but most of us would say "Kaoz, already dun like them, still must love them. I dun think so".

But Jesus tells us that even the evil people love their own kind. They will take care of their own evil people. So, if as Christians, we only love those we think are good and deserve to be love, then there is no difference from the evil people as well.

Many people will ask questions like "Can God make me rich? Will He give me happiness forever? Can He give me whatever i want in life? Can He make me successful?" Most of us today will only take an interest if God is able to do all that for them. If God cannot, then people turn away from him. They feel they got better things to do in life.

How many times have u read reports of people winning 4D because they went to pray to a tree or something. The next day, hundreds of people flock to that tree to offer prayers and offerings and asking for winning numbers. The reason is they believe that wealth is the answer to life. While everyone agrees it is good to be rich, it is supposed to be a result of God blessings on your life, rather than making it the objective of your life.

So, u will have to decide for yourself what is the meaning of life. I cannot decide or make u believe in anything that u are not willing or keen to believe in. hee hee! So, continue to keep searching.

Ask and it shall be given unto you.
Seek and you shall find.
Knock and the door will be open unto you.

Praise God!

Amen.

April 09

2009-04-15T15:49:00.000-07:00

Time flies. It's already close to the middle of the year. Give thanks to the Lord for all He has given to us. I am disappointed over an incident and despite that, i know God loves me and all of us very much. We do not quite see it all the time but like children, they too do not see their parent's love for them all the time. But the truth is that their parents love them so much all the time!

I was looking forward to something for some time and i was totally exited about it but it never materialised, despite initial promise. That really gutted me and i was quite depressed over it. I felt a feeling of anger, injustice and disappointment and it was something that i could not quite say it in words. There were so many implications that it made me quite bitter. Yet, i know that bitterness is not one of the fruits of the spirit but still, i must admit it got me quite down.

It took me a long time to be able to write this and even now, i also cannot put it in words what i really felt. Maybe there is an area in my life that God wants me to reflect on or maybe its just His way. Maybe it did not materialise for me because someone else needed it more? I dunno. But all i do know is God loves us and we have to trust and obey. I think maybe i have not been humble enough. I felt i should have the opportunity, that i have the right to have this opportunity and that i deserve to have the opportunity. Perhaps its time to relook into my priorities.

I read books about the meaning of life, listen to people talk about the meaning of life. Sometimes, i felt they do not quite get it. But that is what i feel.

The meaning of life is to praise and glorify God through our lives. Everything we do, say or behave is supposed to reflect the glory of God. Of course, i fall short most of the time and of course i also behave or react in a way that is not correct. But that does not mean we continue to do that. I believe repentance is always necessary and yes, God always forgives when one is truly repentant. God always forgives, all the time.

Some people reject this idea and refuse to believe this is true because they think its too good to be true and that we have such a loving and forgiving Heavenly Father. But the fact is that we do!

In fact, all we have to do is to look at the relationship between parents and their children. Do not parents forgive their children when they make a mistake and later confess and repent? What joy fills the heart of parents when their children repent of their wrong ways. Do parents keep that wrongdoing in their hearts? Do they remember it so that they can always bring it up one day again? I do not think so. I believe that when parents forgive their children's mistakes, the mistake is wiped clean! It can be wiped clean because of the love the parents have for their children. Parents forgive their children because they love them, not because they had to pay back or do many good deeds to earn that forgiveness. This kind of forgiveness cannot be earned but yet it is given freely and abundantly.

So that is how the relationship is between God and us. Not that we deserve forgiveness or mercy. Not that we earned the right to be forgiven. But we are forgiven and given eternal life because God loves us so much. We cannot earn forgiveness nor do many good deeds to deserve forgiveness. Its by the grace of God that we are forgiven of our sins and given eternal life.

Thank you Heavenly Father for loving us so much!

Praise God!

Amen.

Troubled

2009-02-15T16:32:00.000-08:00

I think i have met a few people who asked me if one became a Christian, is he free from all troubles and problems? Of course the answer is no because the Lord has promised us we will definitely have to face times of trials and persucation. Then these people replied and say, "Then become Christian for what?"

Actually, what they are saying is what is there to gain by being a Christian? I often ask them what they want. Usually, its alot of money. Some would say peace of mind. Other would say a life free of worries and stress.

These are all valid reasons. Everyone wants that! But that is only if you think that the life you have in this world is all there is to it. But as Christians, we know that life on earth is only temporary. Jesus already told us in the Bible that this life is only temporary. The pernament one is eternal life, which is given to all who believe in Jesus and what He has done for us. I am not saying that these views are wrong. Not at all! In fact, God wants us to have all these and more.

If you look at King David or King Solomon, God blessed them both with honour, riches and power. The reason was that their hearts were with the Lord, always seeking Him and obeying Him. Everything they did was for the Lord and God blessed everything they did. When God asked Solomon what he wanted, Solomon replied that he wanted wisdom, so that he can govern his people and be a good ruler. God gave him that as well as riches and power which he could have asked but did not. God sees the hearts of men, not the great or wonderful things we do.

God knows the value of our souls and He knows what is best for us. Recently, i have had some difficulty in work and personal life and i wondered if the reason was that i had not been a good Christian. While sometimes, God reveal our mistakes, other times, its just His Will. Its sometimes difficult to understand things when we have no idea what God has planned for us. But Jesus tells us that if we believe in Him and in God, then surely we must believe that God loves us so much and that He wants only the best for us.

I struggled previously with this issue. I wanted answers but i think the Holy Spirit prompted with this answer, which is to trust and obey. When i stopped questioning and became humble, the Lord showed me His Grace, mercy and love.

In the Bible, Jesus told his disciples that He would give them His peace. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. (John 14:27)

I think i know the areas of my life which needs to be committed to the Lord. I was always apprehensive to leave it to the Lord certain areas or things in my life. These are the important things that i hold tightly and i struggle to surrender it to God. But Jesus reminded me again that God loves us so very much. Even the sparrows, who neither reap or sow, yet God feeds them, how much more valuable are we than the sparrows? God is the creator of the universe. Who better than to commit your burdens to? God loves us all. He demonstrated His love for us by sending Jesus to give us the gift of salvation.

Praise God!

Our Father in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name,
Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done
In earth as it is in Heaven,
Give us today our daily bread,
Forgive us for our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us.
Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil,
For the kingdom, the power and the glory are Yours,
Now and forever.
Amen.

My first post for 2009

2009-02-12T08:30:00.000-08:00

Its February 09 and my 1st blog for the new year!

I have alot on my mind but again, i dunno where to begin.

I pray that i will always put God first in all that i do. I wondered if i have been proud. I hope not.

Praise God! He loves us so very much!

Amen!

November 08

2008-11-10T17:23:00.000-08:00

Time flies and i remember welcoming the year 2008 and now 2009 is just around the corner. 2010 is just slightly over a year away. 2010 always seems to be like in the distant future. When i was a kid, i always thought we did have robots doing all our work and travelling by space ships by 2010. hee hee!

Its been 3 months since i left SIM. I have made new friends here and settled down as well. But i still prefer the education industry. Maybe because it reminds me of my time in the university. Maybe i just miss my friends at SIM.

I feel people are always making things hard for themselves and for others. We set rules, guidelines and expectations and then try hard to keep them and fulfill them. There are some people who cannot eat fish without a fish knife, no matter how hungry. Yes, strange as it is, these people will look at the plate of fish and say , " i can't eat this without a fish knife". Then there are some people who look at the plate of fish and say "This fish looks delicious." Then, they will use any cultery available and eat the fish so that at the end of the day, the fish is eaten and they are no longer hungry.

Sometimes, i am on the fence when it comes to these 2 kinds of people. On one hand, there is a proper way to eat fish and the right cultery to use. But then, its all about eating the fish so we can be full. I mean, isn't that what the real purpose is? So, why complicate matters? Some would of course argue that its their choice. Others would say that it is their personal preferences.

Well, perhaps our pride has a part to play. Our egos maybe? Or perhaps we are just not humble enough.

I pray that we will always remain humble and always put God first in all that we do. All of us are in the same bus ride in this journey we call life. Let's not focus all our energy and attention on striving to get the fish knife when what we really should be doing is to eat the fish and be full.

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God
And His Righteous
And all these things will be added unto you.

Praise The Lord!

Amen.

September

2008-09-02T22:06:00.000-07:00

I recently read a blog abt a speech given by Adrian Tan. I thought it was absoutely funny, witty but importantly, he mentioned a few things that i have always been trying to share with people.

Well, one of them is to fall in love. Love conquers all. Bible says of faith, hope and love, the greatest is love. Love never fails.

To fall in love means loving someone and not expecting and demanding to be loved back equally or more. Its giving your everything and sometimes getting nothing back in return. U are empty. Alot of people are sacred so they do not want to give so much. And rightly so. Who wants to love someone anyway. We all want to be loved instead. Its hard work to love someone. So, maybe its safer to just not fall in love so hard. Keep a little, something to fall back on. But there is unfortunately no half measure to love. Its either u do it entirely, willingly and with everything you have or u dun. But falling in love makes u the most vulnerable person because u have no control and your happiness is in the hands of another. He determines your happiness! For those who love to be in control, you will have a hard time loving someone. U will probably settle for someone who loves u instead. But then, u will never know the wonderful feeling of falling in love. Being in love means that u are at your weakest but it is that very time that u are also your strongest.

When u indeed have fallen in love and experience love, maybe then u can understand the kind of love the God has for us. Jesus died so that we may have eternal life. We have done nothing to deserve this and in fact, we have done exactly everything not to deserve this. But God loves us so much that He forgives us for all our sins as long as we turn back to Him. Unconditionally! All we have to do is to be sorry and repent of our wrongs! Its that simple.

It humbles us to know that no matter how great u are, whether if u are a president or a director, we are nothing if not for God's grace and mercy. Absolutely nothing!

Thank God for His Amazing and wonderful love for us. You should love the Lord with all your heart, with all your strength, with all your mind and with all your soul. Then love your neighbour as yourself.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, so that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Praise God!

Amen.

August

2008-08-13T22:03:00.000-07:00

A week into my new job! Well, the colleagues are okay, my manager is okay. The environment is okay. haha! Nothing good or fantastic yet! I hope that with time, i will be able to settle down here. Honestly, my heart is still with SIM. Its not like someone said that over time i will get over it. Sometimes, like your 1st love, u will always have a place for her somewhere in your heart.

I am a very emotional person and i am not sure if it is good that i rule with my heart, rather than my head. I would give up this new job anytime and go back to ETP and continue to be an officer and doing what i do if Liu Bei is not there. I know i would have found my dream job! Well, this current one could be it as well but for me, once i found something that i like, i will stick to it. Having a job that u like to do, with great colleagues and a good boss is what i think is the best! Of course the money must be enough but that not as important as being happy at work! I almost had it all in ETP. So close!

So, maybe u all understand why i am having a hard time settling down! I almost had the job that i could work till i collect my CPF. I was content and it made me happy.

So, for those who are thinking of leaving SIM, maybe u shd reconsider. I really urge all of u to reconsider. But do what makes u happy! In any job, u must be happy working there! =)

I pray that you all find what you are looking for!

Ask and it shall be given unto you,
Seek and you shall find.
Knock and it shall be open unto you.

Praise The Lord!

Amen.

My 1st day at work

2008-08-07T23:16:00.000-07:00

Today is my 1st day at work. Honestly, all i can tell u all is that i missed SIM terribly. I was at the bus stop waiting for my bus when the SIM east bus went past my stop. I thought i saw Kelvin Ng and i was desperately trying to catch a glimpse of Nicole. lol! I felt so depressed and it felt strange that the bus will not be stopping for me anymore.

I cannot enjoy my new work cos i know my heart is still in SIM. I admit it. I miss the people there too much! I even miss the irritating NP students who take the lift just to go to the 2nd floor. I miss the hot afternoons when we had to walk to NP to eat.

As i took the bus, i thought of all the fun times we had in SIM. The friendship was really strong and i am feeling hard to let go and start again somewhere else. I almost resent Liu Bei for it. Why shd i be the one to go when the problem is not me? Today, at times, i almost regretted leaving SIM and i wished it had all been a dream and i was still going back to office and seeing all the guys and chilling with them.

But i guess i have really got to let go and move on. If not, i will not be able to settle in my new place. The people are nice. My boss is okay, i think. lol! Shd be able to click with her lar.

I have to start from scratch again and learn everything. Totally new stuff. My choice of jobs is really extreme! Always in totally different industry.

I sometimes ask God if i had made the right decision. Should i have put my pride aside and just continue to work for Liu Bei and just try to avoid her as much as possible. I dunno!

Give thanks with a grateful heart,
Give thanks to the Holy One,
Give thanks because He's given
Jesus Christ His Son.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only Begotten Son so that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16.

Its good to have such a loving God!

Trust and obey, for there's no other way
To be happy in Jesus,
But to trust and obey.

Amen

I start work tomorrow!

2008-08-06T12:00:00.000-07:00

Yes, and i will say it again, time really flies. I have been out of SIM and already it feels like its all just a dream. Have not really sunk in that i will not be in Blk 82 tomorrow. lol!

I do miss SIM, especially my colleagues and buddies that is. It all seems to fast! I sometimes wake up at night and i wondered if all had been a dream and that i will still be taking the company bus to work and seeing Nic sleeping soundly in her usual seat. hee hee!

Well, i start my new job tomorrow and i am apprehensive as usual and a little worried but i guess everyone will feel that way. I hope i can say i will enjoy my new work place as much as i did at SIM minus "Liu Bei". haha! Those who joined me for lunch on my last day will know what Liu Bei means.

Well, i guess what i want to say is i am missing everyone at SIM already. As much as i am a catalyst to some of them, i guess they are for me as well.

So, i think i will go prepare for work tomorrow. But admist the uncertainity of a new work place, i know the Lord will always be with me and i know that everything will be okay. Its always great to know we serve a God that loves us so much.

Praise God!

Amen!

July

2008-07-10T15:12:00.000-07:00

The month of June has indeed been a busy month for me as usual. Looking forward to having a little breather and catching up on other work.

But i guess this time, i would probably not be able to do that. Its been a great 2 years and 3 mths in SIM and i love it here. It has it ups and downs but i love to be where i am now. I got great colleagues and i love my work. Sadly, i have to part ways with my department. I was telling Nic that i had 99 reasons to stay but only 1 reason to go. But that 1 reason was all it took.

So, i guess, while i am very reluctant to leave, sometimes we have to move on in life. It has been a tough few weeks and with my leaving EQ as well, it was a trying time.

I have asked the Lord and committed everything into His glorious, amazing, wonderful and loving hands. I do not know where i will be eventually but i trust that the Lord will always be holding my hand and walking with me.

Well, i am going to miss alot of nice people if i do go. I wish i could have stayed but i guess its time to move on.

Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to the Lord. And the peace of God that transcends all understanding shall guard your heart and your mind through Christ Jesus.

Amen.

Yursoblue

2008-05-17T01:17:00.000-07:00

That's a name btw. Guess i missed blogging in April. Well, again, true to my style, i would have to say, time flies! lol =P

I got so much i want to say, yet i can think of nothing to write how i feel. Melacholic! haha, i hope i got this word right. I always had to ask her how to spell it. haha. So paiseh. I often wanted to use this word but omitted cos i dun know how to spell it.

Hmmm, if i wanted to say anything, that is i feel at times, i have slipped away and backslided a little. I lack discipline. Or rather, to be more accurate, the Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I am emotional to a fault really. That's me. Try as hard, i am still that same guy who decided many years ago to never again write beautiful sad poems. Only people who are extremely melacholic and depress can produce poems of beauty. Not saying i wrote very nice ones but i would like to think so. Its always depressing to read my poems, albeit beautiful. I do not want to be such a person. I am sentimental, a hopeless romantic and totally one that rules by the heart. Logic has little place when it comes to feelings and emotions. That's a Piseces for u.

Honestly, my life changed in 2006. Not 1992! haha. I accepted Christ in 1992 but it felt i only did so in 2006. lol! I guess coming to SIM was all part of God's plan for a redemption for me again! I backslided so much in the last 8 years and i really am humble and i am nothing without God's love. I cry much more since then.

Amazing love, how can it be? That a King would die for me.

Yeah, that's how much God loves us!

Okay, i guess my blog today makes hard work of reading. haha! But i want to tell u to cheer up! You are made of sterner stuff and i know i dun have to worry abt u,(but i still do) U will be fine. I know u will be! =)

God Bless!

Amen

Easter Sunday

2008-03-24T13:30:00.000-07:00

To God be the glory, great things He has done, so loved He the world that He gave us His Son.

This is a very nice hymn and i used to sing it during my secondary school days in Saint Andrews.

This week, we remember how Christ died for us on the Cross on Good Friday and rose again three days later. We celebrate the good news and rejoice in the fact that God loves us so much.

These days, i wonder to myself about John 3:16. Then i also pondered about why Jesus says that not everyone who calls Him Lord, He will acknowledge them. Could it be that in today's society, many say they know Jesus but in their hearts, they do not believe this and they are so far away from our loving Lord?

This reminds me of some Chinese Serials i watched on Channel 8. I always found it amusing when the girl always ask the guy "Do you love me or not?" The guy replies, "Of course i love you!" Then his handphone rang and it was his other girlfriend, asking him where he was. lol!

John 3:16 says if we believe, we will be saved. What is it that we have to believe. Well, it says to we believe that God has loved us so much that He gave His Son do die for us to wash away our sins so we can be forgiven, reconciled with God and have eternal life.

I wonder how would you react or treat a person if he or she did something that made you so grateful and you know you can never ever repay what he or she has done. Would you want to do something special to show your thanks? Would you then begin to love that person more and be willing to help him or her as much as possible? Would you change your lifestyle because of it. I am sure you have heard of stories about drug addicts or chain smokers who turn their lives 180 degrees around when the truth finally sinks in. Yes, lifestyles will change and lives will be different and it would be the same when the truth that is written in the Bible sinks into people. In the bible, it records that the apostle Paul has changed, from one who persecutes Christians, to one that gets thrown in prison because he told people the good news of Jesus. Even in prison, he would still try to preach the Gospel to outside world.

Many people today says they are Christians but nothing speaks better than their actions. Like a drug addict who has turn a new leaf or a person who is in love, their actions speaks for themselves. They dun simply say, "Oh, i will stop taking drugs" or "I love you". They lead their lives to show people that. I remember reading this nice sentence about spreading the gospel. It says "Spread the Gospel and if necessary, use words."

My first reaction was " Huh? You do have to open your mouth to tell people about Jesus and the good news. How can you do that without opening your mouth?"

As i read it again, i realise what the message is saying is that we ourselves have to be a good example for people to see a difference. We have to lead lives that demostrates our faith and our love for God. We do that by following what Jesus calls us to do. Then people will see a difference in the lives we lead and will begin to ponder and ask questions. Then, if these people really want to seek the answers, the answers will be found for it is written in the bible, Seek and you shall find.

So, just as i have backslided for so many years, i know it so easy to get distracted by the world that we do not see the need to go Church. We do not see the need for cell group and we do not see the need to pray. I know how it feels because i am guilty of every one of those i have mentioned here.

But i hope to share with all of you that we have a God that truly loves us. I am like a sheep that was lost and the good shepard came and rescued me and brought me back to the flock. I am forever grateful that God has given me a chance again to lead a life that is lead by the Holy Spirit and to walk closer with God. There will be times when we fall but Jesus has told us that if we truly repent and ask God for forgiveness, God restores us again so we can walk closely with Him.

So, if we really believe in John 3:16, let our lives we lead be an example to everyone so that all of us can truly spead the Gospel without using words.

Praise God!

Amen.

John 3:16

2008-03-19T00:29:00.000-07:00

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son so that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16

I am sure every Christian is familiar with John 3:16. Its the amazing news that Jesus tells us about how much God loves us.

I asked this question during a group meeting one evening. I asked if that was enough to be saved? Is doing what is stated enough to have eternal life? I got several answers, some saying that is not enough and we have to live our lives right as well. Some says we have to obey the 10 commandments as well in order to have salvation.

But to me, John 3:16 is enough for salvation. Jesus himself said it so. Believe in Him and you will have eternal life. Afterall, no good works can earn you a place in heaven.

So, is that all that is required? Some people might say but that sounds too simple? Other might say that is too easy or too good to be true.

Do you remember meeting your girlfriend or the times you both went dating? haha! I dun know but i imagine you would always want to see her everyday. Even if it is only for a while right? You just want her to be part of your life everyday. Then when you know what she likes to eat or wear, you will start buying her things or doing certain things you know she would like. Seeing her smile makes it all worth and all the time, you feel its hardly any trouble at all.

I know my cousin's boyfriend waited like 5 hours for her. haha! She was working and he was waiting at her workplace for 5 hours so he can go and accompany her to have dinner and then send her home. =) So nice right? My cousin was so touched by his actions and it made her love him even more. But my question is what makes someone do all that or behave like this? I know that Singaporeans cannot even wait for 5 minutes, let alone 5 hours. So, why would this guy wait 5 hours and yet felt happy doing it?

Well, it is all because of love. Love makes people turn 180 degrees. Love changes people. Love makes people do things willingly. Love makes people value others more than themselves.

So back to my question earlier. Is John 3:16 enough?

Well, if you believe in Jesus and what He did on the cross for us, then you believe that God loves us so much. Then, when you realise how much God loves you and what He has done for you, it humbles you. The Bible says God loves us first and because we believe that, we cannot help but love Him back for all He has done for us. So, if you love God, you will turn 180 degress. You will change your lifestyle. You will see things differently and you will want to do all that is good. Its automatically done. You dun have to force yourself to do it, you dun have to remind yourself to do it but you just want to do it. Like my cousin's boyfriend, willingly, he will wait 5 hours for her. He just wanted, compelled if you like, to do it. If he could turn back time, he would still do it and still wait 5 hours for her because he loves her.

So, that is what it is to believe and like John 3:16 says, For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son so that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.

Salvation is given freely. Will you accept God's love and the salvation that He has given to us?

Praise God!

Amen

Its already Februay 2008

2008-02-13T21:30:00.000-08:00

I will say it again! Time flies. I have concluded that nothing flies faster than time. Its already February into the new year!

Work has been busy and yup, i do feel i blog less often these days.

My church is organising a Eureka course or "Alpha Course" as it is commonly known. Its a 6 week course and its main focus is to reach out to non christians and tell them the good news about Jesus.

I am going to give a testimony, which i have already given like 3 times.lol But i wonder what i could say better to tell people of the truth about life? Doesn't anyone find the world so amazing? I look at the trees and the clouds and i know that God has created them. Everything is all linked and inter-dependent on each other and i find that totally so wonderful, so amazing and so beautiful.

I am at a loss actually. I dun know how to tell a non Christian about Jesus. About God. About the way and the truth. About salvation. How to tell them that Jesus has come to save us from darkness 2000 years ago? That God loves us so much that He gave His only begotten Son so that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)

How do i tell them that its because of sin that we have fallen short of the glory of God? How to i convince them that life on earth here is only temporary and we have an eternal life to look forward to in heaven?

How do i tell them the good news of salvation that is freely available?

Its tough sometimes because all of us, since we were kids, we were taught that seeing is believing. Even in the court of law, unless it is proven, if not, its not true. But Bible says believe first and then you shall see.

In life, we were taught or it is in human nature to get even with people, to even the score. If u borrow $1 from me, u have to return it. If u hit me for no reason, i am entitled to hit u back! Unless u care about me, then i will care about you. If u love me, then i will love u. If u give me something, then u will get something in return. But the bible says if someone slaps u on the right cheek, turn the other cheek so that the person can also slap u on the left. Love your enemies! If someone does u wrong, make sure u repay him with good. Love your neighbour as yourself. Yup, this is what i am suppose to tell non christians. Tough huh? lol =P It almost contradicts whatever they were taught to be correct. We were brought up to hate your enemies. How ironic now if i were to tell them you shd love them instead.

But then again, if anyone is looking for evidence that God exist, then i would say just look at the clouds and the trees, then look at your hands. If u see a painting, even if there is no one around, u know for sure that a painter did this. Likewise, God's masterpiece is all around us, everyday! =)

So, if u are still looking for the truth, if u are really trying to find the answer, then i got good news for you. For it is written, knock and it shall be open unto you. Seek and you shall find. When u are seeking the truth, you will find it. =)

Praise God!

Amen

Welcome 2008

2007-12-28T21:07:00.000-08:00

This year flew by like a blink of an eye. I will be another year older and another year has flown by. Its been such an eventful year for myself and i guess for the world as well.

I sometimes look back and time really flies very fast. Its so fast that if u dun stop and smell the roses often, u will suddenly wake up one day and wonder what in the world happen to all those years gone by.

God has been merciful to me and indeed He has blessed me richly this year. Its good to always give thanks to the Lord, who truly loves us so much.

I will be giving a testimony on Watch night this monday.

So with that, i sign off for 2007 and may the Lord bless and keep all of u.

God Bless!

Amen.

Bus Journey

2007-11-13T00:11:00.000-08:00

Everyone of us take the bus on different days, at different locations and at different times. We are all heading for the same destination that is why we are all on the same bus.

The journey on the bus can be smooth for some, could be a hard time for others. Of course, all of us hope to have a smooth and comfortable bus ride. So some of us board the bus quickly so we can get the best seats, the best views or even the best position to get down later.

Sometimes, during the long journey, we tend to forget that the most important thing, the reason we are on the bus in the first place, is to reach our destination and we sometimes are consumed by wanting to get the best seats or best view that we make it our top priority and we struggle, fight and push our way to get what we want. Some people spend their entire journey doing that and some miss their stop totally because they were so busy getting all they need to be comfortable on the busy journey. Some simply forget to get down when they should have and they missed their stop.

So, when u are on a bus, remember what is important is where u are going. If we reach there comfortably or uncomfortably, its only for the journey. The main thing is to get where u want to go and do not forget to get down the bus when u have reached your destination.

November

2007-11-13T00:09:00.000-08:00

I am troubled but i dunno how to put in words my feelings. Its strange cos i always could.

I always could. But not today.

jamie

2007-11-06T02:44:00.000-08:00

Decide what its important

2007-10-24T23:20:00.000-07:00

Yes, i always have to say it every time i blog. Time really flies. I still struggle with the fact that time pass so fast.

Well, i was sharing a thought with a friend of mine the other day and i told her that i had long ago found out what everybody wants in this world. Yes, i found out that all of us are chasing the same goal and that is "to be happy". If i can summarise the reason why all the things that u do or plan, if you take away all the justifications, clear all the layers, the real reason behind is that you want to be happy.

Everybody wants to be happy. Some find happiness in getting a promotion. Others find happiness in being in total control and knowing they have what it takes to succeed. Others find that they are happy when everything is planned for and there are people who find that they can be happy as long as the sun is shining brightly. Of course, many people find happiness in material wealth. In Singapore, happiness is being written in a equation, known as H=5cs, or more accurately these days, H=6cs. =P

So, if i can make one statement, it would be that "Everyone in this world do things so that they can be happy." Many of us work so that we can achieve this.

However, i find that working is sometimes an irony for some people. We should see work as a means to achieve happiness, rather than it being the source of happiness. We work so that we can afford the things in life that make us happy. Of course there are some who really love what they do and they manage to find happines just by going to work. But for the most of us, its still the former.

If we can achieve these things without working, i am very sure none of us will want to work. So, we have to work because it provides us with the things that are ultimately important to us.

But sometimes, people lose focus of what is the real meaning behind working. Some people justify working 18hrs a day with this: "I work so hard so that i can earn more money to provide for my family, to give them the good things in life". So, they sacrifice time with the family, kids and friends so that they can work to provide for the very same people they disappoint everyday with their absence and their lack of attention for them. Ironic isn't it? We work so hard because we want to give the best to the people who are important but by working so hard, we often end up giving them less.

I sometime see people getting fustrated with their work. Some get irritated. Some work till so late that i wonder if they actually brought their sleeping bags with them to the office.

But i wonder why? I want to ask them why are they so angry, fustrated or irritated? Is it worth it to spend time feeling like this? I dun mean to say we dun put effort in what we do but rather i am saying dun lose focus on what is important in life.

To illustrate my point, for example if a stranger chooses not to help you up when you fall, compared to say your boyfriend or girlfriend who also do not even bother to help you up. Now, which person will hurt you more? Who will you be more disappointed with? No one will probably feel hurt and disappointed if the stranger refuses to lift a finger but we sure expect that someone we love to help us even if we did not ask for it, let alone when we do fall. Our expectations are higher because they are important to us and we hope that we are important to them as well.

So now that u have an answer to that, let me ask u another question: Which is more important: Work or family? Yes, i know they are both important. duh!!! But which is more important? We always change jobs and find new work but i think its not so easy to just change boyfriends or girlfriends so easily. Afterall how many of us actually think about or miss our previous jobs when we feel nostalgic? However, i dun expect everyone to say family is more important. There are people who devote all their time to the organisation. All i can say that is that i hope that the lives they gave for the organisation will be reciprociated of that like the boyfriend or girlfriend and not like that of a stranger. So it is for you to decide what is important in your life. Until you can recognise what is ultimately important in your life, i feel that you will struggle to find that happiness. Because if you do not even know what are the important things that you should place first, how in the world are you going to be happy in the 1st place?

I thank the Lord for His grace, mercy and love and for everything He has given to me. Nothing can ever be accomplished without God. All the plans you make are useless if they are not what God has intended for you. But we have a loving God who loves us so very much. Even the sparrow who do not sow or reap and yet God takes care of it, how much more valuable are we than the sparrow? When we realise that everything we have ever accomplished or achieved is because of the grace of God, we will then know that we are really nothing. Really insignificant. A lowly servant. We have achieved nothing of our own.

So, strip away your pride, peel off all your logical worldly explaination and clear all the fogs that cloud your life and ask yourself what are the important things in life. Afterall, is it that soup must be drunk only with a soup spoon or that fish can only be cut with a fish knife? Once you can see and understand that, you will find that sometimes, there are some things in life that are just not worth getting all upset and worked up about. =)

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God
And His Righteousness
And all these things shall be added unto you.

Praise the Lord!

God Bless!

Amen

Reflecting on life

2007-09-18T23:19:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes, i am going to say it again. I cannot believe how time flies and its already 3 months more to Christmas! Goodness!

I dun blog as often as i do. Lazy perhaps or just not wanting to share my views and thoughts at times. Well, i do feel happy for Jac who is now a mother of a baby girl. My best friend is going to be a dad in like 2 weeks time. Lol!

My best friend and i met when we were 15 and we stayed best friends. Its a little difficult to describe the kind of bond we have. I sometimes dun see him for years and when we meet up, its as if we had just seen each other yesterday. Hee hee! I am glad he is going to be a dad cos then perhaps we have more things in common to talk about. Yes, we both support a team in Merseyside and we sing to the song "You will never walk alone."

Well, today my thoughts are with people who are unhappy with their work. My isn't exactly fantastic and i do get stressed sometimes. But i wonder why people get so unhappy with work?Is it the people? The job being too stressed? They are overworked? or do they get bored?

Well, i guess there really isn't a prefect job so i guess the term "work" or "job" should tell u that probably u are not going to like it but the irony is, this work or job is able to provide u with the other things that u love. hee hee! So, if u look at it, your job enables you to enjoy the other things in life. But all we do is complain about our work. Work is stressed, work is terrible, my boss is terrible...etc etc. But if without work, wouldn't we be unable to enjoy the things that we love to do?

Well, perhaps all it takes is a little perspective.

I remember taking the company bus to work one morning. The morning sun was just rising over the horizon and the first rays of sunlight was just breaking thru the early dawn. However, there were already a buzz as people were rushing off to work. I remember i was draggin my feet to work that day. As the bus made its way to the workplace, i tilted my head to the side of the bus and began to observe the surroundings. As i was looking aimlessly out of the window, i caught a glimpse of some Indian workers at the back of a lorry. As i looked at them, i realised that all of them had a blank look on their weary faces. Looking at them made me wonder what is going thru their minds as they sat there. We are only like metres away from each other at the traffic lights but yet our lives are so different.

They are probably miles away from home! They probably have not eaten a balanced diet nor slept well at all. They are in a strange land, with no friends and probably no dignity as well.

They are not exactly doing their dream job either and as they sit there at the back, they are not even sure what they are suppose to do today. They will probably find out when they reach their work place, wherever that is. I dun think they are thinking further than the day itself. In that moment, thru their eyes, they tell of many their life stories.

So, what is wrong with work again? Is it making your life so incomplete that it makes u so unhappy? Is not getting the things u want making u so miserable?

I am grateful for what God has given me. Yes, sometimes our work is bad or we are overloaded but i am sure i can ask anyone in the office and none would trade their current job with any of the Indians on that lorry.

Stop to smell the roses my friends. There is so much to life than letting work make u feel sad or letting your boss get u down and feeling depressed. I know of people that says that even sleep is a waste of time. These people insist we must be productive at all times, multitask at all times if possible. Well, I can only say that these people are absolutely right, from the worldly point of view. But we are not of this world now are we?

God has said that even the sparrows, who neither reap or sow, yet our Heavenly Father feeds it. How much more valuable are we as His children?

Why do u plan and plan for something so much that is causes u to be worried or let work weigh u down so much that u become so stressed? Can anyone add a second more to his life by worrying?

Instead, let me encourage that all of us seek first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness. And all these things shall be added unto you. God loves us and all we have to do is just commit our lives to Him and He will take care of us.

Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! (Matthew 7:9-11)

So give thanks and praise to God who loves us so much.

Praise the Lord!

Amen.

Nostalgic

2007-08-02T22:30:00.000-07:00

It has been some time since i blogged. Yup, been really busy and if i did not write important dates and events in my calendar, i would surely forget people's birthdays, important stuff to do etc etc. lol!

Yes, for those who already know, Jamie has been a big part of my life now. I dun normally like kids and i am sure people would say u would surely love your own kid, even if he or she is not cuter but Jamie is cute. haha. She's so funny at times. I look at her and she really looks like me when i was a kid. It makes me really sad yet happy at the same time. I cannot believe 32 years have flown by. There i was, a baby and here i am now, holding my own. Its an experience i find it hard to describe as there are so much emotions, its hard to make words to describe.

These days, i begin to recall things when i was young. I remember incidents that i had long forgotten. Good times, bad times, fun times and embarassing times. Sometimes, i get flashbacks and recall stuff that i had forgotten. I am already a nostalgic person so these memories are really making me very very nostalgic.

Well, i recall stuff when i was a kid, when i was a teenager, in my JC and army as well as my University days. I just cannot come to terms sometimes that i am now a parent. Its so weird. I dun feel any different. Not yet i guess. Waking up at nights are tiring but strangely, even though i am so tired, i just get up to make sure she is okay and comfy. No dragging of feet, no mumblings or grumblings at all. haha!

Isn't God so great? Its so amazing to see everything He has created and how things just fall into place. How everything is connected and linked. Nature is indeed fantastic. How could we ever control it?

The last 2 years have really been so different for me. I can now understand mothers better. haha. really i do. I have a real soft spot for someone in my office. =)

Anyway, give thanks with a grateful heart because our Lord has given us everything and most importantly, He has given his Son to die so that we all may have eternal life.

Praise God!

Amen.

Garfield and Friends

2007-06-25T12:21:00.000-07:00

I wonder how many people remember this cartoon? How good a friend is Garfield in your views? He is rude, lazy, greedy, mean but yet in spite of all these, i think there is still goodness in him, although he only displays it when it really matters like when he rescues Odie from the dog pound.

I guess some people are also like that. They dun make good conversations, they are hardly interested in your daily affairs and neither are they good companions either. However, when you really need help and when it comes to the crunch, these people often surprise you by bailing you out, rather than those who you feel are "better" friends.

Remember the local show "Growing Up"? I recall one episode when Lim Kay Tong, playing Charlie had to beg his employer not to fire his son, Gary. However, the harsh way he dealt with Gary, i am sure Gary had no idea how much his father actually cared for him. So, i guess some people are just like that. Solve the problem, dispence with the niceities.

I wonder how many of such friends do i have? Most of my 2nd tier friends whom i have chosen certainly have this quality and more. I just wonder how many of them in my 1st Tier are actually really great friends but they somehow dun show it and i dun see it. I pride myself as someone who can see people for who they are. I just need to spend a little time and i am sure i can tell if that person has Tier 2 qualities. haha! I just do. More often than not, its moving them from Tier 1 to Tier 2, rather than moving them from back Tier 2 to Tier 1 that is my problem. I never had to downgrade a friend from Tier 2 to 1. But i must admit that trying and hoping for some of my favourite friends to move from Tier 1 to get into Tier 2 has caused me quite a many disappointments.

Well, friends are hard to come by and good friends are even harder. Best friends are one in a million.

Sometimes, people just dun see eye to eye with each other. Its takes alot of humility and effort to make a great friendship.

Humility includes saying you are as much to blame for a situation, even if you feel its totally not your fault and you know you are hardly at fault. So why then admit it? People would say "arent you a fake, saying things you dun mean?". My answer is hardly at all.

Humility is not being fake. Its not saying you are at fault but you dun mean it. It means that i value a friendship so much that i am willing to put my pride down so we can make things work because you are worth it. Is your pride so high you feel indigant saying you are sorry? Is your pride so high that you will never admit you are as much to blame for something as long as you can prove it or justify it? Are u so proud that you can only say "Whatever" or "as long as i am right, i am going to stand on my principles and beliefs and if you cannot see it, then its just too bad?"

Sometimes it takes alot of hard work and if you are lucky enough, you did meet one that dun need much effort to make it work. But great friendship are built over time, being able to withstand all things the world throws at it.

Jesus only gave us 2 commandments that we must follow. One is of course loving God and no other Gods with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. The second is to love your neighbour as yourself. Look at the second commandment. We are told, we are ordered and we are commanded to love your neighbour as yourself.

In the old testament, God says that if your heart is angry with someone, put down your offering and go make peace with him or her before coming back to present your offering. So, while i think we all have our own preference of who we want to be friends with and who we do not, we must still love them all, like how you will love yourself. Will you continue to be angry with yourself? Will you not talk to yourself forever? Will you hate yourself forever? Will u ill-treat yourself forever? If your answer is no, then are you still doing this to a friend or to someone that you had an issue with?

God says we are not to nurse any anger or hatred for too long. In fact, before the sun goes down, you will have to make peace, at least in your heart, with someone who is hurting you or has let you down. Its okay if you do not to like someone as much as your good friends, but we must always treat everyone with love, compassion and respect.

People often tell me its impossible. But i always draw them to the fact that if Jesus could die for us, why are we so proud to continue hating that person or nursing grudges and avoid talking to them, ignoring them and making them invisible? Surely, that is not what the Lord has commanded us to do, does it?

If only we can sometimes take a step back and see the bigger picture of life, we will understand the foolishness of some of our thoughts and behaviour. Its as meaningless as chasing the wind.

All of us are heading in a common direction as all of us have to leave this world some day. So it does not matter if you are rich or poor, highly educated or a fool, we are all taking the same bus-the same journey-in life because we are all going to the same destination. We are all on our journey of life together.

If i may describe life's journey to that on a SBS bus. You are taking a bus to somewhere you want to go, that is the main objective, to reach your destination. The main thing is to reach it. If you have to reach your destination comfortably seated or if you have to stand up and squeeze sometimes, just remember that the most important reason why you are on this bus is to reach your desired destination.

Some people strive so hard to ensure they get a good seat, a good view or to watch TV Mobile that they push, shove and make these little things their top priotity and they miss the big picture and they forget to get down the bus and they miss their stop. While in this journey of life, of course it is good if you can get great seats and a great view but dun make them so important in your life that you miss the most important prize at the end. Focus on the prize ahead and dun lose that focus. Do not take the material things of this world to be your main focus. Jesus has told many people to store their treasures in heaven where it will not be stolen nor will it rust.

So, if you can understand what i am trying to say, do consider taking a step back and look at the bigger picture in life. It does not mean you give up chasing your dreams of being a CEO or striving to climb the coporate ladder. No, this is not what it means. But what it does mean is that you put God as your main focus. That is all.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.

If you do that, i am most certain that you will gradually understand what is important to you and you will also realise that its not too difficult to follow the 2 most important commandments that Jesus has told us to follow.

Praise God!

Amen

Its June!

2007-06-12T21:29:00.000-07:00

We have reached the halfway point of the year and yes, its super scary how time flies.

Well, i was on leave today and i was at home when the doorbell rang. I went to see who it was and it was the postman. I thought there was a registered letter for me but it was not. Instead, the postman told me he could not put the mails into my mail box because there were many bees around it. True enough, i went to take a look and there were really many bees and i begin to suspect that inside the mailbox itself, there could be hundreds of them just swarming around. I tried to smoke them out by throwing burning newspaper into the mailbox as i thought the smoke would irritate them enough for them to fly away.

However, they refused to leave and after some time of fighting, i realised there was a nest inside. No wondered they refused to leave and kept fighting with me and my dad. Well, my dad finally managed to used a hose and the powerful jets of water hit the nest and it began to crumble to little bits. After half an hour, we successfully destroyed the nest. Boy, were the bees mad! They buzzed around and many times, my dad and i had to run into the house with the door shut firmly behind us. I could hear their angry buzz all in the air. I felt i was watching those amazing videos on tv but here i was, in the middle of it all. lol!

Well, after 2 hours, the bees finally left, what was left of them. I realised admist the jets of water and the smoke and fire, there were hundreds of bees that were left behind and i had to scoop them into those NTUC bag and it was half filled. Well, for our efforts, both my dad and i were rewarded with a bee sting each. My dad took his in the stomach while i had mine on the cheek. It was swollen and painful. I immediately put an ice pack and later vinegar. The swelling went down a little but there is still a mark and until now, i am still smarting from the sting. It was my first bee sting, actually. lol

Anyway, it was really an exciting adventure i guess. I was trying to smoke them away gently but i did not know they had a nest inside the letterbox. I had no idea how they could even build one in the mailbox. I just checked the mail last night and i did not even feel anything when i reached out to take the mails. Of course, it was rather dark but i did not hear any buzzing either. Most strange. I left a container of vinegar inside as bees dislike the smell of it.

Nevertheless, praise God and give him thanks that the bees finally left!

Amen!

Its end of May

2007-05-31T04:25:00.000-07:00

May has really been a busy month for me and it really just flew by very fast!

Today we had our dept lunch at some Italian Restaurant. Unlike the past few times at lunch, i was quite hoping to sit among friends for a change but as usual, everyone just squeezed in and i gave up the idea and just sat somewhere nearby. To my surprise, Sharon actually kept 2 places for me and Kelvin, much to my embarassment. It was kinda of happy yet embarassing moment and to make things worse, my phone went flat without me knowing and they tried to call me to tell me but alas, i guess i have to wait till the next dept lunch to sit with them. I had like 15 missed call alerts in a space of 5 hours. Kaoz!

Anyway, its like 3.30am and no, i am not asleep yet. Thought i did blog as it has been some time since i did. Work is getting busier. I feel sometimes that i am like in colour and the world is black and white. Its like u are looking around at everything but no one notices u at all.

Well, for the past year, i have been feeling like Neo (Matrix). It felt as if i am out of the "matrix" and able to see the real world but yet its a war out here. A spritual war. It ragging everyday and sometimes u win and sometimes u lose but u keep on at it. I do admit at some point, i wish i had never taken the red pill. I wished i was still blissfully unaware in the matrix. Ignorance Bliss or Truthfully depressing? lol!

I dun worry about tomorrow, i just live from day to day,
I dun borrow from its sunshine, for its skies may turn to grey,
I dun worry over the future for i know what Jesus said,
And today, I will walk beside Him, for He knows what is ahead.

Many things about tomorrow, i dun seem to understand,
But i know who holds tomorrow, and i know who holds my hand.

Yup, i dunno why this hymn just came to my mind. I remember singing this in my secondary school days in Saint Andrew's Secondary School. I love to sing hymns. I love to sing actually! To myself that is, when no one is around!

I feel there are 2 sides of me, one i have during the day and one that surfaces on nights like this. The cheerful, cheeky side that people tend to see me and the dark, depressed and cynical side of mine in the blogs. I dun know how to express what i am feeling right now. Maybe its because its almost morning and i am not thinking straight? lol!

I used to go partying and chionging to rid of this feeling. But truth be told, it only temporary distracts u and u have to keep going to parties and to dance the night away so u will have no time to feel depressed. Depressing isn't it? lol! I stopped clubbing since i turned 25years. It seems that i had quite enuff of it. Though i occasionally do drop in a while but could it be that u will outgrow this? I dun feel the urge to want to go chiong on weekends, unlike last time.

I guess deep down, i am just a boring, safe, unadventurous kind of person. I think i would be like wallpaper when i go to the party, rather than be the life of it. haha! I was never the chatty, friendly, outgoing kind of person to begin with but i did not know how along the way, i somehow just developed this friendly personality.I am a reserved, quiet, guai guai kind of person to be more exact. I would tremble till my knees got weak if i ever had to talk to a girl. haha =P Really. I really am very shy to talk to girls. Not as much today but a few years back, my face would turn red if i had been fairer. hee hee =P Oh, and I fear authority and people with authority as well.

Sigh, i do think i have this gift to read people very well but i hardly know myself sometimes. A friend of mine posted a love song in the blog that my friend has. It happened to me one of my favourite songs as well. It was so nolstagic to read the words to that song.

I wonder how do u know u love someone and how do u know u really love someone? If u see 2 adorable kittens and u love them both, is there one u love more than the other or is it the same? Or maybe subconsciously, u dun realise it but maybe u do love one more. It is just that u dun realise it. Maybe? lol!

Okay, its like 4.25am and i think i better go sleep. I dun think i will go jogging later. Probably will be too tired.

If i say i think someone is beautiful and she takes my breathe away, what do u think i mean? =)

Anyway, guess its time to zzzzz.

Give praise to the Lord. He loves us all so much!

Amen.

Its Friday!!!!!

2007-05-17T08:36:00.000-07:00

Yes yes, this week seem to fly really fast! Goodness!

The number of people whose birthday falls next week is unbelievable.

Andrea-20th
Ivan-21st
Jenny-21st
Kelvin-22nd

lol! Presents galore!!!!

Not to mention 19th is my Saturday duty as i swopped with Kelvin has he had a last minute urgent stuff to attend to. Thus, looks like Saturday duty might just close the lid on my night out at Velvet. Besides, my friend now has to reconsider! Sigh!

Its a tiring week i may add! I seem to have lots of things to do, even on my off nights, i have dinner appointments to keep! lol! Busy busy and busy!

It seems work is getting more and more pressurizing! Lots of politics to watch out and lots of diplomatic ties to keep or renew. Its tiring, that is all i have to say. I dun really bother but i really dislike other people picking on me due to red-tape and other face saving stuff. Totally irks me! I wish i could be myself and be truthful and honest all the time! Yup, it is going to be hard but i think i should be doing that. I have to!

Anyway, its good that weekend is near. I need a good rest ahead of next weeks battles in the office! Oops, and the prezzies to wrap too! haha =P

Praise God!

Amen!

Its May and time sure flies

2007-05-07T07:19:00.000-07:00

Well, i celebrate my 1 year anniversary this week. It seems like a dream! How did time fly ever so fast? I remember being introduced around on my first day. Hee hee! Issac would be 1yr old this Thursday! He's Choy Foong and Ivan's son. He is also super, fantastically, amazing cute!

Well, of all the people in SIM, i guess it is fair to say that so far i only have like....let's see... three Cat 2 friends and about four or five still making the transitation. hee hee! Pretty sad but then again, i spent 6 years in M1 and i only had like five Cat 2 friends. Seems its getting more and more difficult to get these kind of friends. I think as u grow older, u get more commitments that take up your time, attention and energy.

Well, i like to spend time doing my "nonsense" stuff. hee hee! Sharon is going back to school to get her Masters and that is something truly commendable and worth doing! I wish i could do but i know i am too darn lazy. lol! I dun have the drive to study anymore, though a Masters would be so cool!

Actually, come to think of it, i am not very good at anything actually. I am not particular aggressive enough for Sales, not innovative enough to be in Marketing, even worse at being merticulous so that rules out finance and administrative duties. I have a short memory and i cannot sit still for too long without talking. Thank goodness for MSN. haha! I am a people person and i need some noise to feel comfortable.

But i do like to interact! Maybe i shd work in a zoo or something! Bring kids to the zoo and entertain them with stories and telling them about animals. haha! I like hanging out with kids, from Primary 1 to JC, i have no trouble having common topic of interests. haha!

Anyway, i guess God gives each of us a gift and we are all good at something!

So, at all times, let us Praise God! He loves us so much!

Amen

Looking into myself!

2007-04-30T16:09:00.000-07:00

Strangely, i have not been feeling very well the last few days. In fact, i dun remember being super happy since last year June. Its like i am suffering from depression. lol! No lar, i am not in a state of depression, just feeling kinda down. Strangely, i dunno why. Maybe alot of things add up ba. Its not work pressure either. Neither is it family or friends. Rats, what is wrong with me?

I know i cannot sleep at night. I would only sleep when i doze off in front of the television. I would try to make myself as tired as possible so i can get to sleep. sigh....

I feel helpless at times. Maybe i am tired. I know i like to always be there for friends but i hate to bother them when i do need. Its just me lar. I am super weird at times. I think maybe trying to keep up and setting the benchmark is tiring i suppose. Maybe i try too hard at times to make things work. Relations are always the most tiring and the most trying of all. haha! But its the most worthwhile! Super difficult at times, leaving u with a basket full of negative emotions but the rewards if u do get them are just worth it. =) haha!

Anyway, i hope i will snap out of this soon. I think maybe i know why le. I think i keep giving people my time, energy, concern and love that i cannot replenish them fast enuff. haha! Its disappointing when u try so hard and its not appreciated. I think if u constantly get this, depression will eventually set it. haha!

I wonder how those social workers get by? They must have tons of energy, concern and love for people to do what they do everyday. Giving and giving and receiving little. They are the real deal!

I wonder what's going on in my head. It feels tight at times, i sigh more heavily(i noticed it too) and sometimes, i feel out of sorts and i will just shout out in the middle of the night in my sleep. Yup, i woke myself up a few times. Sheer helplessness at times. sigh. Ya, i am worried abt myself too.

I know what i have to do. Of course prayer lah, what else? hee hee! But its true. Prayer is powerful! It really is!

Praise God!

Amen.

Finding myself

2007-04-28T16:46:00.000-07:00

The last week has been rather odd for me. I did not feel like myself and i am always troubled. Problem is i had no idea what's troubling me. I was like nervous, jumpy and easily agitated. I felt like i had something to hide. Like a dark side of me and i was frantically trying to cover up. This kind of feeling always come about when i had something to hide or something was bothering me. So, here i am blogging this and trying to see what is it.

Hmmm, let's see. Well, i think maybe my Vicar was stepping down played a small part. Well, not his actual stepping down that made me sad but the thought of life itself.

We all will have to step down from life one day and hopefully, by God's mercy and grace, we will continue our new life in heaven. I wished sometimes, and i cried to the Lord that if only the whole world could just see an angel, coming from heaven and telling us all to accept the gift of salvation, what joy shall fill the hearts of every Christians and what hope it shall give to everyone else. There will be so much rejoicing in the world because we know for sure where we will be going. An everlasting paradise.

I am sure the lives of everyone would be changed. Suddenly, the promotion you were slaving for did not seem to matter that much. Suddenly, the unfinished work and datelines that were so crucial seemed almost trival. Suddenly, all the money you hoped to earn, the career you hoped to achieve, the condo you hope to possess, the high life that thrilled you immensely, the other possessions that you wished u could have, will all seem meaningless when you finally realise all these are like chasing the wind.

But as i am writing this, i know that the Lord wanted us to believe even without seeing. We have to live by faith and not by sight. To not be able to see but yet still believe.

Its like if your best friend told you to meet him or her at this place and at this time, you will be there. There is no evidence or indication that he or she will turn up but you know your best friend will show up. You just know it deep down inside.

Well, i know the reason why you had no doubts whatsoever that your best friend will be here to meet you. I know. It is because of your close relationship with him or her and through time, you both know each other so well. So that is why you have so much faith that he or she will turn up to meet you, even if it was raining or there is a traffic jam or even when he or she is already running late. Remember what i said earlier? Faith is not seeing but believing so you have faith in your best friend.

So, that is why it is sometimes difficult and you struggle with your faith in the Lord. You may not have developed your relationship close enough. However, if you have a close relationship with God, in time, you will have the faith as well and you will not see, but yet will still believe.

My vicar knew that. He knew and he has always been trying to tell us. He also told us to store our riches in heaven, not on earth. This sunday will be his final sermon and the last time he will stand in front the Church as our vicar. I feel sadden that he will no longer be leading us. He has indeed given himself to the Lord. His entire life was spent serving God.

Do you know something, i realise that while not all of us are made to be Pastors, worship leaders, cell group leaders, vicars, bishops etc, we all share in one same similarity. You can be a Dean, CEO, Bishop or just an admin officer but we all should have something in common and that is making God as the centre of our lives.

Do let me try to express what i feel.

Well, i am sure before you were born, your mum carried you for a full nine months and gave you life. She gave up alot for you, endured all the morning sickness, the roller coaster of emotions and other extreme discomforts so you could experience life and she sacrificed, cared and fussed over you all these years because she loves you so very much. Both your parents in fact.

So, I am sure you loved them alot too because they loved you first and took it upon themselves to care for you. As u experience their love, you cannot help but love them back because you recognise that without them, you will never be where you are today. You are grateful for all they have done for you.

When you fell sick, they are so worried and they watched over you while you slept and was at your side all the time in case you needed anything. It doesn't matter if they had no sleep or their career suffered as long as if you could get better. I can imagine when you wake up in the morning and feeling all better, you smiled at them and greeted them, their hearts are so filled with happiness and joy that you are well and their whole world was sunshine again.You make such an impact on them. That is how much you mean to them.

So because of such love in a family, when you see your parents are sad, you are sad and when they are happy so are you. Well, i am sure that in your parents hearts, when they see that you are happy, they too will share in your joy. Such is the close relationship you share. Such is the tenderness and love experienced in a family. You will also most certainly value your parents views and you would obey and listen to them because you want them to be proud of you and you want to also make them happy.

If you are married and not staying with them, i am sure it gives you much joy to go back to see them and have dinner together because you miss them and they are always never too far away from your thoughts everyday.

Now you have read what i have said earlier, you should consider the kind of relationship you have with God.

God has made you and given you life. He sent His son Jesus to die on the cross so that you may live because He loves you so very much. He told you to pray so that as you focus on the Lord and ask for His help, He will be there to help you. God says ask and it shall be given unto you. Seek and you shall find.

So, i am so thankful and grateful that i realised how much God loves me. Not only me, but all of us. God loves us all so much and how could we not love Him back? How could we not be humbled in His presence and realise we have nothing and will be nothing if not for God.

So, now you know why i go Church, pray, attend cell group, do bible study and lead the kind of life that Jesus told us to live. That is my way of loving God back. Yes, i still stumble sometimes along the way. But if you are truly repentant, God always forgives. Everytime!

And if you do not bother to pray daily, you do not care for reading His Words daily, you cannot be bothered about attending cell group or if you would rather spend Sunday morning sleeping and eating instead of being in Church to worship Him, guess what? Take a minute to think about it. Can you guess what it is?

God will still love you just as much. Really!

Now i know most of you reading this would feel i am wrong. How can that be you ask? Most of us will feel there's so much injustice in that but it is true. God will love you just as much as He loves my vicar. He is just as concerned about you as He is with my Vicar. If you need proof of how i know this, please let me know and i will share with you on where to find it.

You can be an ungrateful child, rude, bad tempered or mean but your parents still love you because you are their child and nothing you do can ever change that. Absolutely nothing. Your actions may only make your parents sad and you may make them cry, but you cannot make them stop loving you. How could they? They love you so much! So will you agree with me that you will also in return never try to make them sad or hurt them? How could you bear to make them sad, right?

If you understood what i have said, then understand this.

How much more God loves you. He sent Jesus to die for you so that you may have life in abundance. He sent Jesus so that everyone you care about can have the opportunity to know Him and have everlasting life.

In this earthly world, you would have to say goodbye to people whom you love and you will miss them so much. God knows that. He knows you are sad and he can feel your sadness and because He loves you so very much, He has sent Jesus down to earth two thousand years ago to redeem all of us so that hopefully, you will be able to meet all the people whom you love again in Heaven and this time, you will be together with them, with Jesus and with God forever in paradise.

So, if you truly believe in all that i have said, how could your life not be different? How could you not be grateful and how could you not be thankful? So undeservedly are we to receive such grace, mercy and love from our Lord and our God. God loved us first and all we can do is to love Him back. So, how can we not do as He commanded?

So, i am going to take some time today to recommit my life to Him again. Listen to the song i blogged earlier. Sharon gave me this song and I had it in my office PC for so long but never really listened to the words.

Thank you Lord. Thank you for loving us so much.

Praise God!

Amen.

A Beautiful Song

2007-04-27T01:12:00.000-07:00

My Vicar, Canon Dr. John Benson, is stepping down this weekend and we will be paying tribute to him with this song. Its truly beautiful and tears just rolled down my cheeks as i heard it.

I thought Canon In D was beautiful.

The lyrics of this song is so beautiful and so meaningful. It was for a man who dedicated his life to bring others to the Lord. A righteous man who has always loved us like how Jesus has commanded us to love. We are truly blessed under his leadership.

Thank you Canon John Benson. Thank you for giving to the Lord. I am so glad you gave.

Praise God!

Amen.

Thank You (Ray Boltz)

I dreamed I went to heaven
And you were there with me;
We walked upon the streets of gold
Beside the crystal sea.
We heard the angels singing someone called your name.
We turned and saw this young man
And he was smiling as he came.

And he said, "Friend you may not know me now."
And then he said, "But wait,
You used to teach my Sunday School
I was only eight.
Every week you would say a prayer
Before the class would start.
And one day when you said that prayer,
I asked Jesus in my heart."

Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am so glad you gave.

Then another man stood before you
And said, "Remember the time
A missionary came to your church
And his pictures made you cry.
You didn't have much money,
But you gave it anyway.
Jesus took the gift you gave
That's why I'm here today."

Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am so glad you gave.

One by one they came
Far as the eye could see.
Each life somehow touched
By your generosity.
Little things that you had done,
Sacrifices made,
Unnoticed on the earth
In heaven, now proclaimed.

And I know up in heaven
You're not supposed to cry
But I am almost sure
There were tears in your eyes.
As Jesus took your hand
And you stood before the Lord.
He said, "My child, look around you.
Great is your reward."

Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am a life that was changed. (We are lives that have been changed)
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am so glad you gave. (We are so glad you gave)

Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am a life that was changed. (We are lives that have been changed)
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am so glad you gave. (We are so glad you gave)

Canon In D

2007-04-22T23:48:00.000-07:00

Haha, its been some time since i posted. Been really super busy the last week and it will be as busy for the next few weeks with work and stuff.

Well, i have been able to spend some time hearing this song, Cannon In D, played on piano and it simply took my breath away. Simply beautiful and i can tell u if i hear this song over and over again, i will never get bored of it. If there was ever an inspiring piece of music, this would be it. I can only describe it was beautiful. I cannot hear this piece of music without feeling emotional. Its like it is so beautiful that you are filled with so much emotion that it chokes u up and u find yourself breathless. I wonder if any of you understand what i mean. Its absolutely wonderful! To be able to play it would be like totally awesome.

Well, in case you are wondering, here is the link! It's played by someone and its really really beautiful. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABBzejbplVQ&mode=related&search=

I will be trying in my free time to play this piece of music well. I am inspired by it! hee hee!

Everytime i hear this song, i really sense life's beauty and its splendors. God has made everything on earth so beautiful. I see the beauty everyday and it chokes me up so much inside that i have to take a moment and take a deep breathe and exhale. It really puts life into perspective when u stand in awe of the wonders that God has done. As i reflect on what Jesus has done for us on the cross, i wonder why people can hear about this and then their lives are still the same? Does it mean they do not believe because if they do, why is there not a change in the way they live?

I am sometimes worried that i may let worldly things take centrestage instead of God. I always pray that the Holy Spirit convict me if i have done so. Life will never be the same when you realise how much God loves us.

Praise The Lord! Thank you for sending Your only begotten Son to die for our sins on the cross so that we may be forgiven and have eternal life. Thank you for loving us so much.

I am lost in wonder, i am love in love,
I am lost in praise forevermore,
Because of Jesus' unfailing love,
I am forgiven, i am restored.

Amen.

Pay increment for Ministers

2007-04-11T11:14:00.000-07:00

Now now now, i was really upset over this when i heard it that i actually wrote in to Class 95FM to Glenn and the Flying Dutchman. Basically, i know i am not at all clever, smart or intelligent and i do not claim to know everything but i would like to point of some of my thoughts and you can all see if they are valid.

I love my country and i trust my government, make no mistake about that. I am not some ungrateful person who fail to see how far we have come when our ministers back then gallantly fought and bravely won our freedom and dedicated their lives to build this nation but i am always reminded of Animal Farm and i do feel my country may be walking in the same direction.

Anyway my thoughts are:

I am deeply concerned for the future of my country. The government says they cannot attract top people to the cabinet and my question is how safe do you feel when your country is going to be governed by people who loves money more than the country. Money is never an evil, it is the LOVE of money that is evil.

So, we are looking at future leaders who do NOT have the real passion and love for the country but are in fact motivated by the huge money they can earn. I find it very disturbing. If anyone disagrees and says but we can also have people in who are equally attracted to the money and devoted to Singapore at the same time. Well, my retort would be if that is so, why do u need a pay increment before you serve the nation? If you truly love doing something, you would do it for the love and come on, it is not as if the Government is paying the ministers peanuts or paying them so little they have problems meeting ends meet. Its just voice down to the fact these mercenaries can make much more money in private sector. In short, the LOVE of money.

Thus, i wonder if the Singapore's economy do collapse in the future, are these "new leaders" going to "tender their resignation" and look for a "new company" to join? I can tell you there are so many opposition members who would gladly take half the salaries of the cabinet ministers to do their job (and they are qualified) simply because they love the country. They love the nation and most important they love the common people. They feel for us, they understand and they care.

My other thought was if the government says we need to increase the salaries to attract top people, okay, fine. I can accept that but why did the PM also get a pay increment? Let's be honest, aren't the current ministers and the PM already "attracted" to the job and they are already doing their job as leaders of our nation? Why do they need to give themselves such a big increment? They seem to be saying "Look, if i dun get more money, then i probably am not going to be around to help run the nation in the future. The private sector is making tons and i dun have to be constantly be in the spotlight!" Is that the message they are sending because that is sure what i am hearing. Our PM is being paid relatively 5 times more than Mr George Bush and relatively 6 times more than the PM of Japan. I would not blame people if they started to mistake Singapore to be China, for our PM to be paid that much.

As an infamous Indonesian politican once said, we are just but a tiny dot on the map. I am "sure" it needs an "extraordinary goverment" to rule that dot. hahaha. Must be hard to rule this Sunny Island because of people like me lor, who so "buay song" with everything the government do. Maybe it is me lar. Maybe. Perhaps no one else is making so much noise as i am.

Lastly, our senior minister has come up to say something like if we do not have an extraodinary government, we will fall back to the Southeast Asian times. Just look around you etc etc. Well, i have only one comment. Its similar to a parent telling the kid "If you eat all these sweets tonight, all your teeth will surely fall out tomorrow. U eat lar! See whether how u like it to have no teeth tomorrow".

Look, i am not some sour grape, bad attidude, ungrateful person who is so jealous of the increment. I am all for it, if it can be fully justified. I am upset because the Govt did not even run this through Parliament or even ask oponions or polls of the public! They just implemented it and say "It is done, whether you like it or not. Here are our reasons. Not happy? Not convinced? Then boo-hoo! Too bad for you!" I remember someone telling me about the elections and the amount of money that was given out to all of us. He said, "You just wait. The PM is giving u a delicious drumstick now. Soon, he will take the entire chicken back from you."haha! I found that very humourous. Hmmm, i wonder if there is truth in that. Perhaps to fund this, that is why they needed to increase GST by another 2%! haha. I am kidding! =P

But God says to obey our leaders so we have to continue to pray for them beacause the entire nation is in their hands and i do hope they will have the charateristics of great leaders that i have mentioned before.

Let's pray for them.

Praise The Lord

Amen.

What is leadership?

2007-04-09T11:34:00.000-07:00

Yup, what is leadership exactly? I am sure your managers or your superiors are leaders and they have authority over you. But often you hear people saying their superiors are lousy leaders.

Well, if u are reading this, means too bad, u gotta read what i want to say. Hahaha(dictator kind of leadership).

Anyway, let's first take a look at this whole follower-leader stuff. Before we can say our superior is a bad leader, we have to step back and look at the situation and more importantly, at ourselves? Ask yourself:

1. Have i done wrong? It is my fault? Even if partially.
2. Have i somehow repeatedly made a mistake?
3. Have i let my superior down?

I always look at myself whenever anyone is angry, upset or disappointed in me. Because i want to always make sure that if i felt i was unfairly treated, i want to be 100% sure no fault can be found in me.

When u have done all that, then this is what i define as a leader to me.

1. Someone who leads by example. Make sure you yourself can do it before expecting others to do. That will give you the right and the respect when u delegate work. LEAD BY EXAMPLE.

2. Someone who leads by example and also understands why sometimes others cannot! That makes a great leader. You shd know that everyone is made different and if u have the grace to overlook and not hold grudges or judge those who are slower, less competent or weaker than you, then u have what it takes to be a great leader. UNDERSTANDING and COMPASSION.

3. Someone who takes the blame when things go wrong. A leader is someone who accepts responsibility when the team fails. When the team fails, a good leader sees it that he has failed, not the rest. Because when things go right, the leader is commended and given all the glory and honor so simialrly, when things fail, the leader takes all the blame. When commended, a leader always attributes them to the team and he sees it as a team effort. However, when being blamed or when things do not go well, he is never found to be saying things like "It's actually because of this person or that person's fault so that is why i also being misled. So, actually, if only he or she had done his or her role better etc." He doesn't look for others to blame but sees himself as the one who should take the responsibility. HONOUR

He is not decitful and not afraid to say he is wrong or admit it when things do go wrong. He is also truthful and honest and he doesn't hide behind excuses or give excuses like saying "You know i have a bad temper so you shd expect me to scream at you. You should expect that from me." Well, i think that is RUBBISH! If u know u have a bad temper, the more you shd be aware and not show it and the more you should keep checking yourself. HUMBLE and TRUTHFUL

4. A truly great leader knows the responsibility of everyone is in his hands! He understands the pressure of having so many people's lives in his hands and he has to take even greater care for them because everyone looks up to him. He knows he must care for them at all cost. LOVE.

I guess what i am saying is that i consider and respect someone who is a leader if he or she

1. Leads by example,
2. Is understanding and compassionate
3. Honourable
4. Humble and truthful
5. Has love for people

Jesus himself was an example of how a leader should be. If you insist on controlling those under your authority rather than serving them, you will sacrifice the joy of leadership on the altar of power.

To command is to serve, nothing more and nothing less.

Praise God!

Amen!

A poem for all friends!

2007-04-04T11:23:00.000-07:00

You will know someone means a lot to you:

Whenever you are upset, my whole day seems grey,
Whenever you are angry, i am filled with dismay,
Deep down inside, there is something i wish i could say,
To bring back your smile, to complete your entire day.

-Composed by tinkilily & whitey 4th April 2007

Its April already?

2007-04-03T07:34:00.000-07:00

Wow, time does fly and its already April! One third of the year has already gone by and i am still stuck in 2006.

Anyway, i was kinda feeling down recently and i was wondering if some of my friends were not what i hoped they were.

Well, i was recently sharing the concept of friendship with a friend. I was telling her that friendship to be can be categorized into two groups. One group is those you do not see often, not too close but yet u know each other and a smile here and there and a wave or two when you walk by kind of friends. The other group are those u think make great friends and those that are for keeps. They exhibit charateristics that are deem to be able to be put in this group. My friend goes on to ask what does it take to be in this 2nd group. I told her the person must exhibit or at least show that they are kind, helpful and understanding. Not necessary towards me though. That part i will have to work for it.

So, there are people who started out in the 1st group and i gradually move them to the 2nd group. My friends are important to me. I will not hestitate to do whatever is asked of me if they need it. These people belong exclusively to the 2nd group. So, after talking, i realise that there are a few friends from my 1st group that i am depserate to move to the 2nd group. Well, if u ask me why, maybe all i can say is i really like them alot? haha. Anyway, i will then sometimes overlook the necessary criteria needed and that is why at times, i felt being disappointed and hurt by them simply because i have expected more from them.

Well, after talking to her, she made me realise that in life, sometimes we like someone so much and we hope by doing all that we can, the person will like us back just as much. However, i am still learning that this is not always true. Sometimes, you can do so so so so so much but yet the other person remains indifference and you get upset, angry, disappointed or fustrated with him or her but all this time, its entirely my fault. Its all my fault cos i put the weight of expectations on them and put in so much effort and when the results do not match the effort and time, i find them falling short. So, in fact, its all my own doing that i am upset, angry, disappointed or fustrated.

So i ask myself this question, "So do i stop making friends this way? Should i be lesser of a friend or show less concern and expect less so i will not be so hurt again?"

Well, after much thought, i find that its silly and pointless to live like this. I am not like that. When i like someone, i LIKE someone and i will do the little things and the big ones for them without any expectations cos they are worth it! I believe when you first set an example of what and how a friend should be, you will definitely have friends that exhibits the same characteristics as you and for these people, i can gladly move them to my 2nd group, as they friends for keeps!

I dunno if this makes sense but yup, like relationship, even making friends require u to be vulnerable cos when you give it your all, at times, of course u will be totally defenceless when they hurt you cos u already gave your all. However, when u give everything to it, you will reap what you have sown and you will have the chance to understand the beauty of friends.

That is what friendship is all about! =)

Praise God!

Amen

Extracts From An Unfinished Novel

2007-03-28T00:15:00.000-07:00

I caught the bus in a nick of time! I heaved a sigh of relief as i boarded it because i was already running late. I was kind of angry with myself that i had spent an extra ten minutes in front of the mirror. But i figured i still would have done it. Afterall, it an important evening today. Clutching the roses i had, i had a quick glance at my watch. It read 9pm. I could probably reach Karen's house in about half an hour. Well, i had to admit it, i probably looked pretty stupid holding a bunch of pink roses and trying hard to ignore the sniggerings of the other passengers. So, i kept looking out of the window in hope they will find something new to gossip about.

The sky looked a shade of red and i thought i heard a sound of a rumbling thunder in the distant. But nothing could distract me. I was so excited! My mind raced back to events in the afternoon. Karen had finally called me and told me she wanted to meet me tonight at her house. I was overjoyed because we had been quarrelling the last few weeks and total silence since. So, i suppose you can say i was both happy and relieved we were talking again and i could not wait to see her again!

As the bus waddled through the traffic, my thoughts drifted to when we first had our first date. Even though i was only eighteen then, I knew she was the one for me because whenever i held her close to me, she fitted so perfectly in my arms. Everything around me seem to fade away when she was with me. It was as if the world has gone all silent except her sweet voice. All the buildings, all the scenery will somehow fade to black and white with only her beautiful face in full colour and radiantly beautiful.

I almost missed my stop but somehow i managed to press the bell in the nick of time. I quickly got up from my seat and rushed to the exit door. I muttered a quick apology to the bus driver sheepishly, who must be really annoyed with me. I was sure it was the uniform and his sense of duty that all but prevented him from coming out of his seat and strangling me.

As i walked towards the familiar block, i could definitely hear the ramblings of an impending storm. The winds were gathering speed and the leaves were rustling nosily in its wake, seeming to tell the world that a storm is about to be upon us.

As i reached the void deck, i saw Karen in a distant, standing beside the lift, waiting for it to arrive. I smiled so wide till my dimples made craters on the moon seem small. I hurried towards her, all the time keeping the roses behind my back. My heart was pounding really hard and loud. I wondered why it did not wake the neighbourhood.

I was no more than ten feet away from her when suddenly, out of the corner, a shadow appeared and hovered towards her. I momentarily snapped out of my europhia, as i followed the movement of the shadow. As the shadow moved closer to her, i heard the words, "You left your handphone in the car."

In that moment, Karen turned around and immediately gave her all so lovely smile. "Oh thank you so much dear" she said. "i totally forgot about it". Then they kissed.

No one saw me, for as the lift door opened, she went in quickly, waved goodbye and he turned round and left. I had no idea how long i stood there. It felt as if i stood there forever. I could feel my entire body numb. The only thing that i felt moving was my heart and it was sinking right down to my feet. I never thought it was possible, so i guess that clears any doubts when someone says their hearts sank to their feet. It really does.

I froze or i felt time freeze anyway. Everything turned silent! I could not hear a single sound. I felt a million thoughts entering my head all at once but i could think of nothing. I just stood there, staring at the lift, watching the lights changing as it reached each floor.

I had no idea how long i stood there, not that i cared. Finally, i felt as if i had woken up from a really bad dream and i could hear the rustling of the wind again and the sounds of cars whizzing by the main road. I did not know what to do so i just turned around and walked back to the bus stop.

As i walked on, a gentle drizzle began to descent ever so softly and as i looked up, the raindrops seemed so beautiful under the orange glow of the streetlights. The cold wind was really blowing now as the raindrops gathered in speed and velocity. It was just as well it rained, i thought to myself. I think the heavens knew how i felt because it was also about that time too that the floodgates opened and i could not tell if my face was wet with tears or from the drizzle. I walked ever so slowly to the bustop as the rain poured down under the cold quiet night.

It only seemed like yesterday when i just got to know your name,
Like a rose in full of bloom, like a child who knows no gloom.
And all the time that we have spent, they are all but memories,
And even though how hard i try, i could never say goodbye.

Cause i just could never let you go,
And leave me here with memories,
But life.......must go on,
But i hate to face the day now you are gone.

But i know that someday, i will be alright,
And time would heal all those hurt i feel inside,
As i walk along, alone, away from life's bitter memories,
Picking up the pieces is all that i can do.

-Extracts from An Unfinished Novel

Saturday!

2007-03-24T23:30:00.000-07:00

Today's the SIM bowling tournament at Marina Square! Kelvin and myself had a great time! I was still under the weather a bit and Kelvin prayed for me just before we went to the bowling Alley! Very nice of him! He's such a nice guy! I wish others can see how great a person he is! But i am sure in time, people will see what a cool dude he is. See, that is what i mean by being a daily testimonal to everyone else. People can see and no words are needed to tell he is a nice guy!

Well, it was kinda fun to meet many other colleagues who u normally have no chance to meet. Naturally, not many have heard of ETP. =P

Well, as i was driving today, my mind kept thinking of the previous blog i made yesterday, about how i would like to live my life! As i was driving, i suddenly felt afraid that what if i cannot do what i said i want to do? What if i fell short and someone read my blog and then "suan" me! I dunno if i can take it well! I think i will be so disappointed with myself! Haiz!

Well, my answer to those thoughts were " I am still gonna do it! No lukewarm, halfway, compromising way!" Its going to be a challenge and i know there will be times when i will be weighted down and i know there will be moments of tiredness etc etc! But i believe if we are walking closely with God, He will always be there, holding our hands and guiding our paths.

Well, its a long day for me and kinda tired actually! Israel plays England tonight in the Euro Championships and of course my 100% support goes to nation with the anthem "God save the Queen". =) Go England! It's raining really heavily now!

Okay then, Thank God for the wonderful day He has made!

He's our great and loving God!

Praise God!

Amen

How close is your walk?

2007-03-24T00:07:00.000-07:00

Well, after Eureka session tonight, i went home, thinking about what we learnt today. Eureka course in my Church is smiliar to that of Alpha Course where new Christians and non believers gather to listen and get to know about who Jesus is. I was helping to facilitate and to help answer questions that the new Christians and non believers might have.

Well, in truth, i always thought i benefitted alot from this as i myself feel strengthened by the Word of God. I had a long thought about my earlier blog i had posted this afternoon and about what we discussed in Eureka. Here is what i concluded:

I believe that our everyday lives should speak testimonal for ourselves as Christians. I remember a sentence i read somewhere. It said "We should preach the Gospel at all times. When necessary, use words." At first, i did not understand it but then i realise what the sentence was saying is that people see you and your actions and behaviour and they should reflect God's holiness in you. That you should be an example of how a Christian should be.

I know i have fallen so short cos not everything i do is correct. I am far from perfect definitely. But i rejoice in the fact that i can acknowledge that i have fallen short and i want to do something about it. =) I want to live my life as an open book. If someone tells me i am a hyprocite or how i am this and how i am that, i totally welcome it! Sometimes i am blind to my own faults and sins and if someone points them out, whatever their intention, i should be grateful as i can reflect and see the errors of my ways. I know i have definitely a long way to go but i am starting!

I have backslided for the last 7 years and if there is anything i can learn from this time is that:

1. You have to go Church every week
2. You have to do QT, read God's word everyday
3. You have to go for every Cell Group
4. You have to pray everyday!
5. You have to be a testimonal to God each and everyday, be it at work, home or at play.

Yup, for the last 7 years, i did neither of the above! And it took God's great love for me to see how my lifestyle back then was totally wrong! Believe me when i tell u i had a hundred reasons for not doing the above! hee hee.

Previously i used to believe the following:

1. I can be a good Christian and not go Church regulary. Sunday, worship at home can le.
2. No need to go cell group lar...I already know about Jesus and God. Fellowship no need lar.
3. QT-have time then do lar. No time do tomorrow lor. Simple as that!

Well, I rejoice in the fact that i was able to see why it was all so wrong. I still stuggle at times but it has become a priority for me. I recall what my principal in Saint Andrew's always told us "Start the day right with God and the day will continue to be right!"

So, the fact is this is the priority of my life and i intend to make it so. My family comes next, then friends, then career and others. I guess not many people share my priority in life. Its not a MUST of course! Afterall, everyone is different but for me, its something i feel very strongly that i ought to do. My personal belief is that this is how i ought to live my life as Christian. "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you"

I believe if you put God first, God who so loves us so much, will provide us with anything we need! If we humble ourselves before God, asking for His help and confessing we cannot do anything without Him, God will surely bless us and we will be able to do everything, for it is written "The meek shall inherit the earth."

So i guess it puts life into is perspective. Maybe that is why i say i am an oddball because when we become Christians, we do not see things like how the world sees it. Maybe my close friends are non Christians so they tend not to see things the way i see it. But i try not to judge and i know i shd never ever judge for it is written "Judge not lest ye be judged" So with my friends, i tend to be carefully not to say anything negative but if i have to say something, it should be out of love for them and not because i want to scold them or anything like that. =P Maybe i will have less friends? hahaha =P

Let me share something with you! I used to be like this when i was in Army! Yup! I was like how i am currently. So i keep asking myself how someone who believes this so much and so strongly can actually stop going Church, stop saying grace and stop praying for the last 7 years? Looking back, i cannot believe it myself. What happen? What the heck happened?

Well, bluntly put, i fallen waywards and let worldly things be more centred in my life than God! Yup, i dun know how but somehow, somewhere, i fell into temptation and without even realising it! Thus, you will know why i said it is only the Grace of God that i am brought back to the flock! The Shepard found this lost little sheep and carried this lost sheep on His shoulders back to the flock! Praise God! How can one not be lost in wonder? How can one not be lost in love? Its because of Jesus' unfailing love, i am forgiven! I am restored!

Praise God!

Amen

Its Friday!

2007-03-23T15:47:00.000-07:00

Today over lunch, someone commented on something interesting. The question is "What does BIBLE stand for?"

The answer is "Basic Information Before Leaving Earth". I found that very interesting.

As i look back at myself one year ago, i know for sure that i have changed. I have changed alot and sometimes, i can hardly believe how i used to live my life. Not that it was bad or anything, but it was not the kind of lifestyle that i would want to live, actually. I could not see it then but looking back, i could see i have strayed off the path and unto rocky roads by the side. What alarms me is not my lifestyle but how i failed to see what was wrong with how i was living each day.

I like to blog at times cos it gives a chance for people who know me to understand me a little more (if they want to lar) and i just enjoy the opportunity to say what's on my mind! of course i have to be a little tactful when it comes to situations but nevertheless, i try to give the truth as best as i can. =)

That's how i hope to live my life! Transparent for all to see and as truthfully as i can. Its not easy in this day and age and even more difficult in the workplace. I was wondering why no job description in the market today has this for a creteria "Must wear mask to work everyday" Or maybe its a given fact cos i see everyone putting on a mask everyday at work. Well, i too! Yup, i know i do at times and i always felt gutted afterwards! I always hated to wear a mask to work! But the truth be told, if you do not wear a mask, u are probably never going to climb very far. I think it is true. Really! if not, why are so many people wearing different masks every day?

So, i am trying not to wear masks to work or anywhere if possible. I am going to give it a try! The reason why i am doing this is because i feel its so meaningless and pointless not to be yourself! Not to mention very tiring! haha =P I think people tire themselves out from wearing masks than anything else. Its difficult being someone you are not! I know that cos i too have been wearing masks in the past. I will not even start on playing politics...haha....that one even more cheem! lol!

Guess my perspective of life is different! I thank God for His Grace! I know He cares and provides for us. Its sometimes difficult to understand or see how good our Lord is but He just is. I do not claim to understand it all the time but i always remember very strongly a message God told me and that is to Trust and Obey! I still struggle here and there but not as bad as previously.

I wonder to myself why am i an oddball? It seems i am so different from everyone else. I see people getting all worked up over work, deadlines, meetings etc and while i understand the importance, i wondered why are they placing so much emphasis on them? It was like if the work is not done, deadlines are not met or meetings not chaired, your whole life is wasted. So it is THAT important and it is why it is RIGHT for them to get so worked up!!!!! When i mean worked up, i mean they scream at people, be difficult, rude etc etc.

So my question is "Is that so?" Really ar? it's that important huh? Well, i guess to some the answer is YES! hee hee! Well, i think most people would say yes.

I am not trying to change anyone's view of anything. In fact, i sometimes ask myself if i am just being plain lazy and that i am hiding behind all these reasons(excuses) for not wanting to work harder and work longer. haha! I dunno leh ! But I dun think i am leh. I too like my work to be of high quality and it gives me a sense of accomplishment as well. I too have been brought up to always strive for the best. If u reach your goal, set another one and aim higher and higher! Maybe its Singapore's culture ba! Kiasuism too strong. We are all afraid to lose out! I feel there is so much more to life than chasing the coporate ladder! So so so so so much more! =)

Haiz....see, now u can understand why i am the oddball! I think rather differently from others. Sometimes too differently.

I wonder does it matter if u earn 10k a month but you do not know the Lord? Does it matter if u are a millionaire but u have not known Jesus? Do u think anything matters if you do not know God?

Anyway, that's my thought for today!

Give thanks to God! He met us halfway by sending His only begotten son so that if anyone of us believe in Him, we will not perish but will have everlasting life! God loves us. I think your life would make a world of difference if you know who God is. I really think so! =)

Praise God!

Amen

My Vacation

2007-03-21T06:38:00.000-07:00

Yup yup yup, went on a road trip to Malaysia over the weekend with Clinton, Alice, Lenny and Jennifer! It was a long time since we had a road trip. It was all the way back in 1998 when we went on a road trip in Australia! We drove from Melbourne to Sdyney and finally ended up in Gold Coast! Those were the days!

Well, driving up in Malaysia is a first of many things for me. Well, it was

i) My first road trip there
ii) My first time driving there
iii) My first time driving at abour 140km/h. hahaahaaa....

Clint's Toyota Vios was manual and it took me a while to get used to it! I actually put into gear 2 when i was supposed to reverse and i forgot to step on the clutch when slowing down. Tell tale signs of a automatic driver. But its like learning to ride a bike, u never forget!

Well, we set off at 6am in the morning and we had Mc Donald's breakfast, courteousy of Miss Tjam, who was kind enough to heat them up before leaving home.

The journey in Malaysia was filled with puns, sun and tons of fun! haha! I cannot understand sometimes how the Malaysian do stuff but me and Clint sure found it funny(not haha funny but kaoz funny) I shall elabourate on one incident to prove my point!

The last time we went to Malaysia, we stopped at Baskin Robins(BR) and we wanted to have ice cream. So here was the conversation, roughly:

Me: Hi, we would like to have some ice cream

BR : Okie, how much you want?

Me: I would like to have 2 scoops please

BR: Sorry, we run out of 2 scoops.

Me: huh? Okie, then what do u have?

BR: You can have our 3 scoop then.

Me: Wait wait! So, u are saying u run out of 2 scoop but u can give us 3 scoop?

BR: Yes, sir!

Me:......................

Anway, take a trip to Malaysia and experience the wonderful stuff. Trust me, it will tickle u non stop! I picked up a few new words like Lobby( spelled Lobi in Malay). Wouldn't life be simpler if we just adopted spelling like Malaysia? Its simple and to the point! lol!

Okie, besides a fun trip, the down side was i fell sick on Sunday itself and i needed to rest till Wednesday! Well, i am feeling much better and going back to work tomorrow! Sigh! I wonder if my mailbox has flooded? Sigh!

In a nutshell, it was a really enjoyable trip and the consensus was we should do this more often! I thank the Lord for blessing this road trip and being with us and yes, i had to skip Church last Sunday but i will be back this Sunday again! Its weird to skip service these days and i am glad i felt that way! hee hee! I do hope to plan one that does not coincide with a Sunday. That would be cool!

Praise God!

Amen!

Partying Time!

2007-03-16T10:30:00.000-07:00

Yes yes, Wednesday evening got on to a fab start with dinner at Sizzlers at Suntec with a couple of friends from work! The morning, i got lectured by "someone" who i was trying to help! I felt a little upset initially cos i was trying to cheer the person up! Really i was!

Honestly, if i had not known the person well, his or her name would be off my Christmas list this year for sure. But i guess it may have also been my fault cos i didn't express what i wanted to say well and that person was like fuming as it is. Well, such incidents can only make one closer? u think? Hmm....i think so! haha =)

Yes, Jac is expecting her second kid! Just got to know it over dinner! Really so happy for her! Children are God's blessing to us! As she talked abt kids and all, i can sense a radiant and a glow that comes from her. She's feeling excited and happy as well.

Well, why the title partying time was for the first time in years, i stepped back into the night scene! It happened to be Ladies Night at Double O and i must say no wonder ladies love to go there. Free cover and free flow of house pours! Heck, i would have worn a skirt and put on masccara if i had to! But the cover charge was $25 for guys.

Well, nudged "ever so gently" by Jen and Nic, i found myself driving towards Mohd Sultan, a place so familiar yet so remote to me. haha! Its been so long! I felt so out of place initially but i guess something never gets lost. Its like riding a bike, never mind if u are rusty, u will always remember.

So, for me, a little uncomfortable at first but the familiar atmosphere, the chocking cigarette smoke, the crazed charged hormones, the curves....(hahaha) brought back memories. hee hee! Sigh! Yes, i was quite the choingster back then! Does that surprise u?

Anyway, Kelvin was also gently nudged to go and it was his first time! hahaha! So i ordered for him his first Burbon Coke and his first Barcadi Breezer! His very first time!!!!! hahah! He's ever the gentleman! I wondered why he is still single! Its so rare to find someone who still holds on to the "old code". U know, ladies up the bus first, take care of them. Well, he's one of the rare gems, apart from me also lar of course.( Wei, dun make that face i tell u! Its true! Just ask anyone!)

Well, i guess it must be an exciting time for Kelvin but for me, it was okay lar. I have had wilder ones and we had to work the next day so we left at the height of the night! But thankfully, i still had a great time and 2 gorgeous ladies for company. I was told they would look even more stunning after a few rounds of drinks. Well, i had only 2 drinks cos i had to drive but they look fabulous enough to make any guy blush! haha =P then again, maybe it was the alcohol talking...haha =P

Jen can really hold her drink well. Not a trace of red on her face whatsoever! Guess that's why she's the leader of her group! haha! Nic can also hold her drink well i guess. Maybe one day i should put them to a limit test, see how far they can really hold their drink! muhahahaha!(rubs hands in delight with evil grin...hee hee)

Err......In case u were wondering, no no no! it is not so i can take them home okay! Aiyo! I am not like that okay! Chey!!! I am not okay! No No! Absolutely not like that!.......(phew, hope that will throw them of my scent. Hope no one saw thru my plan....)

Anyway, it was a fun night! Too bad we had to go off so early cos the party has not even started! If they had played retro music, u can be sure i would be on the dance floor. But i need a few drinks to "encourage" me to take the floor. I dance horribly i was told but heck, everyone would do too if they had drinks all night! haha!

Okay, so we left at around 11.30pm and i drove Nic and Kelvin back. I would have driven Jen as well actually. But alas, she stays so far in never never land! Still, i was still contemplating but that would mean the other 2 would reach home really late and there was work tomorrow. Haizzz....

Yup, it was a fun night and yes, it rekindled lots of memories. Well, who knows, i may just go again! haha! We will see then!

I gave thanks to the Lord for the wonderful day He has provided. He knows i struggle with lot of worldly things. Temptation was all around. I could see that! But thank Him for his faithfulness and love for me. I am not the lost sheep i once was. Praise God!

Amen

Oops, i did it again!

2007-03-13T10:01:00.000-07:00

In case you were wondering, no, no, this is not a tribute to Britney Spears. I wonder where she is now though. I do like her very much. I missed the bus again this morning. lol! 2 times in a row! So, i was all set for another adventure. I took the MRT this time with my mum. Actually, the journey is not too bad. You get to see everyone doing their own thing.

Its often interesting to look at people. I often wonder where they are going, what are they thinking. Why some looked so sad, sian and bored while i was sure some of them looked as if people owed them a lot of money and have not paid up. =P

Isn't life just wonderful! Imagine i am only on an MRT train, in the small city of Singapore and already its so amazing to witness what God has done. I am reminded of the scene from American Beauty where we watched a plastic bag being tossed and blown with the wind. I remembered the quote was "Have you ever seen something so beautiful that it overwhelms you and it chokes your heart so tightly that you are unable to breathe?"

Back then, i could not understand that but i do now. I really do. You see something so beautiful that you are so filled with awe and emotion that it chokes u and u have difficulty catching your breath! That's how i feel when i see life! The sheer beauty of a kid going to school or couples going for a date and the elderly being greeted by their grandchildren. Its so beautiful that it chokes me.

Everyone is always rushing somewhere. Everyday. Every time. If you could, if you really could, stop and smell the roses along the way. Life will pass you by in a flash. I sometimes think about all this and sometimes i tell God that He has made this world so beautiful that i am going to miss it so so so much when i leave this world eventually. I told Him i cannot bear to give up all this beauty and everything wonderful. I usually despair at moments like this. The feeling i get is like when u know you got work the next day and someone ask you to go clubbing the night before. You will feel like, aiya, no point what! What's the point when i got to go work the next day? Dun feel like going. Pointless! Meaningless. Right? Agree? (For those who like to chiong?) haha =P

Yup, i feel like that sometimes about life. Why is life so beautiful but it cannot be forever? However, i remember praying one day and i believe God told me not to feel sad. He said He has promised us eternal life many many times more beautiful than life here. He said do not worry about tomorrow for everyday has its own worries. He said again that by worrying, could i add even one more second to my life?

Trust and obey and you will know I love you was the message i get. I often wonder as kids, when our parents give us something to eat, we dun suspect or fear that poison may be given to us. I dun think anyone feels this way, right? We all trust them so much that the thought that they could harm us was like impossible. So i wonder why do we have so much faith and trust and love for them? I mean, when strangers give us food, we look and say "Er....nvm, i not hungry. u go ahead ba" haha! =P

So, i think what God is saying that if we trust our parents so much, how much more will our loving Father in Heaven provide for us. Who has asked their parents for help and they send a snake to bite them? So, i am comforted by His promises and He has a place for all of us if you will trust and obey. Jesus himself said this to the thief, who asked that he be remembered, when they both were on the cross. "I promise you, today you will be with me in Paradise."

So, quite an adventure for me today huh? Just a MRT ride and i can have so much to say. Maybe it is me! haha! Yes i know, i am weird. Deviation to normal. Hopelessly emotional perhaps? haha =P

Oh yeah, to complete the story today, i alighted a Clementi MRT and i was wondering which bus to take. I smsed Cindy and bless her, she responded very quickly. However, i was like trying to figure out which bus stop and where to walk to but thankfully i met a really sweet angel at the bus stop and she guided me to work! hee hee! Thanks angel! =P

Yup, that's all from me today. =)

I am lost in wonder,
I am lost in love,
I am lost in praise forevermore,
Because of Jesus unfailing love,
I am forgiven, i am restored.

Amen.

What a morning!

2007-03-12T09:05:00.000-07:00

I woke up today as usual and was running just a little later than usual mornings. Nevertheless, i still had time to do my daily routine without much fuss. When i came downstairs and went to my car, i realised the windscreen was cracked. Something or someone had hit the windscreen and the line was pretty long. I had no choice but to replace it and if it is insured and with any luck, i would only have to pay $100. Sigh, have to probably trouble my dad to see to it.

Well, my dad drops me off at Bedok Central to wait for the company bus in the mornings. As i arrived there, i knew something was wrong cos i did not see any of the usual familiar faces. True enough, a kind elderly indian lady came and told me the bus has left like 5mins ago. I looked at my watch and i knew i was on time. The bus came way too early. I was going like "hmmm, what a way to start a Monday morning!" I quickly smsed Nicole to confirmed if the bus had indeed left.

So, i had to take a cab to work and i reached here at 8am and it cost me $17.80! And true to Monday blues, i only got $50 note in my wallet and the taxi driver told me he had no change. I was like great! Just great. So, i ask him to wait and i went up to my office to see if i could find any money lying somewhere! hahaha! There was no one in as it was so early and nope, there was no money lying around, except for some coins at Denphie's table. So i went around to approach the cleaning lady, begging for some small change but no one had. The taxi driver was still waiting and i was like panicking. Come to think of it, i dun know why i was so anxious. The taxi driver shd be more anxious than me actually.

Anyway, i said a quick prayer and i thought maybe i can go to the ATM to withdraw some money. I rushed out, and i met this new HOP from Science and Tech walking and i wasted no time to ask him for money!haha! Thankfully, he had small change and i could finally go down to pay the taxi driver.

As he drove off after i paid him, i then thought to myself "okay, that's settled. Now to pay back the HOP. So, i went to the ATM to withdraw $20. And true enough, on the screen were the words "The machine can only dispence $50 note". I was like "Come on! Kaoz! Wah Liew! Give me a break!"

At that time, i paused, closed my eyes, prayed and gave thanks to the Lord. So, i decided to go to the canteen and buy something. I felt sheepish to buy a packet of sweets like 50 cents and pass the uncle $50. So, i decided, might as well make the best of the situation. I bought drinks for my entire department, including the nice HOP who was i think also too paiseh to say "no" to me cos he saw the desperation in my eyes. Maybe he was afraid i would rob him or something with my body language! haha!

Thus, ends the morning adventure! There's still my car issue to be settled but oh well, its been a hectic and eventful morning! I am glad some of my colleagues were thankful for the drinks. Cindy said its exactly what she needed. I was glad i was able to make someone's day! =) Oh yeah, and i finally received Nic's sms reply. hahahaha. She said the bus has indeed left early.

I decided to blog this first cos when i opened my email, i really regretted coming work today! Lots of stuff waiting but i thought i did take some time to stop and smell the roses and blog this!

Okay, back to work and i ask the Lord to continue to bless this day and everyone!

oh yeah, one more thing. After all this, i had a tummyache and the reason i am blogging this is just as i was about to unbuckle my belt in the toilet there was NO TISSUE paper at all! Wau lau, imagine if i was like halfway.....kaoz! and to make things worse, none of the cubicle has. Someone has stolen all the tissue paper. I was thinking if i had to, i will have to sneak in the ladies toilet but giving the kind of morning i am having, i probably would enter the ladies and find some lady would be adjusting her bra or something etc in front of the mirror and she would scream! haha...(thankfully, there was still some left at the handicap cubicle at the end of the men's toilet)

haha, okok, back to clearing work! It looks like its going to be a real busy day! sob sob! =(

But thank God for this is the day that He has made! =)

2007-03-09T14:34:00.000-08:00

I found this article to be very inspirational.

Is it possible for me to lose my salvation?

It's been nearly 2,000 years since Jesus Christ personally offered forgiveness of sins and eternal life. Of the millions who have accepted His offer, many have found the peace and joy of knowing they have a secure relationship with their Lord and Savior. Others, however, haven't felt as secure. Some routinely struggle with confusion and uncertainty, wondering if they've lost their salvation in Jesus Christ because of something they have or have not done.
It's a frightening and tense place to be in when you are uncertain about where you stand in your relationship with Jesus Christ. Understanding the basis and the nature of salvation can eliminate much of the uncertainty that some Christians feel regarding their relationship with Jesus Christ.
The Bible stresses that salvation completely rests on trusting in Jesus Christ's death on the cross as full payment for our sins ( John 3:15-16,36 ; Romans 3:22-24 ). Faith alone is the basis for our salvation. It is not based on our own merit or performance ( Ephesians 2:8-9 ; Titus 3:4-5 ), nor is it based on the amount of our faith. It is the object of our faith that matters. Trusting in Christ (not anyone else, including ourselves) brings salvation. A strong sense of security settles in our hearts as we realize that while we are the fortunate recipient of God's grace and mercy, we are not responsible for earning it. It's free!
Additionally, the Bible teaches that we are eternally secure when we solely trust the Lord Jesus Christ as our Savior. This is the eternal and binding nature of the salvation that Jesus grants. Jesus said that He gives us eternal life and we shall never be lost. He declared that no one can take us out of His or the Father's hands ( John 10:27-30 ).
In the same way, the apostle Paul wrote that those who have trusted in Christ for salvation are eternally saved. He stated, "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" ( Romans 8:1 ). He went on to say that absolutely nothing can separate us from God's love ( Romans 8:35-39 ). So then, according to the Scriptures, we can confidently believe that we are eternally secure if we have placed our trust solely in what Christ accomplished on the cross as full payment for our sins ( John 5:24 ; 1 John 5:13 ).
If we could somehow lose our salvation in Christ, then Jesus and Paul would be liars since they both described the gift of salvation as eternal ( John 3:16 ; Titus 3:7 ). Eternal means that it never ends. Our salvation is permanent. In other words, once we are saved, we are always saved.
God doesn't give us the gift of eternal life and then take it back if we are bad. Our eternal security is not based on our ability to be good or perform, but on the promises of God ( John 3:16 ). Moreover, any attempt on our part to say that we can somehow earn and maintain a secure relationship in Christ is an affront to God. It strips Him of glory and lessens His remarkable offering of grace and mercy to an undeserving world.
Although we never lose our salvation in Christ, we can lose the enjoyment of close communion and fellowship with our heavenly Father. For example, when my daughter sins against me, it temporarily hinders our ability to be close and enjoy each other's company. But even though all is not well between us, she never ceases to be my daughter. The same is true for those of us who have trusted Christ as our Savior. Whenever we sin against God and put distance between ourselves and Him, we are still His children who are secure in His love. That is why in Luke 7 Jesus told the sinful woman whose faith had saved her to "go in peace" ( Luke 7:50 ). She could rest and not worry about where she stood with God. That relationship was eternally secure.
We will sin as Christians, and our sin should grieve us. But it shouldn't take us by surprise. The apostle John said, "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us" ( 1 John 1:8 ). Most importantly, there is no sin we could commit that would cause us to lose our salvation. The apostle John added that God is willing to forgive all of our sins if we confess them ( 1 John 1:9 ). He didn't just mean the total amount of our sins, but the various kinds of sins as well. In other words, God forgives and cleanses us from every kind of sin possible. His mercy has no limits.
Dan Vander Lugt

My birthday!

2007-03-07T06:05:00.000-08:00

Well, well well, today is my birthday! Time seems to have a habit of flying really fast! Nolstagic is the word i want to use today. I recall celebrating my 8th birthday! I dunno why but i could remember a little! It was not really a happy birthday cos the other kids kept wanting to play with my presents.

Then i recall my 21st birthday! It seems like yesterday only! I recall talking to this girl l really liked back then at 12am downstairs at my swimmimg pool. haha!

Well, here i am, standing at the crossroads of life and only then did i realise why the saying "Youth is wasted on the young". Indeed, looking back, there were indeed many things i could have done and indeed there were many things i took for granted.

I often lie down in bed and i asked God if He could make it possible that when i woke up, i would be 21 again! haha. Well, God knows my heart and he knows my thoughts. Silly as they may be, God knows so might as well share my silly thoughts here. hee hee

I would ask myself what things i would have done differently? Would i be a different person? Would i still be who i am today? Would i have chosen a different career, different relationships, different friends. Would i have been happier then?

Dun ask me why i think what i think. As they say, Piesces have their heads in the clouds and they are day dreamers, hopeless romantic and very emotional people. Well, i would have to say, yes, yes and yes to all the above. Nevertheless, i tried to change, to make myself less emotional.

Back when i was in the Army, i tried to hide my feelings. Dun care so much was my motto. The less u cared, the less u will be hurt. I tried but i guess i am kidding no one. How could you not put everything or give everything you have for something or someone you loved?

That's the irony of love. The more you give, the more u expose yourself. The more love you give, the more vulnerable you are and when someone hurts you, you find that there is nothing you can use to protect yourself and u take the full brunt of it! Some people are so afraid of being hurt again that the have this defence mechanism all built in. Thus, they never give too much, as they are afraid they would open themselves up and risk being hurt. They have learnt their lessons and no no, they are not going to do that again!

My answer is, that's sad! Cos if u never give it your all, you can never experience what love is all about. You sow little and i tell u, the rewards will be as much as u sowed! Then someone came and told me "How can i not be hurt? How can i love fully but yet not be hurt?"

Well, the answer is no! Unless you give it all, you can not receive it all either. But giving all means u will be at your weakest, your most vulnerable. But strangely, how often you hear of love making someone so courageous, brave and eveything that does not seem to associate with vulnerability. That's the irony. To be the strongest, you have to make yourself the weakest.

God says that His strength is made perfect in our weakness. When we are helpless and totally in need of his strength, that is when we realise we are strongest. Love is the greatest! Love the Lord your God and love your neighbours as you would yourself.

Well, i am a hopeless romantic, really i am. I try hard not to show it. I love walking in the rain, those light drizzle and it seems so romantic when it rains at night and under the orange glow of the street lights, the world seem so beautiful! The cold breeze that brushes your face, the sound of rain and the smell of the wet grass. Its beautiful!

Well, i used to write poems, mostly sad ones and it takes a really depressed person to write something beautiful. Haha. Yup, the irony. I believe the most beautiful poems or songs written are by sad, depressed people. I really hated to feel miserable back then! I really do, which was why i told myself i will never, ever write beautiful poems again because i never wanted to be sad all the time. I never smiled back then. I was always moody, depressed and sad. I dun think anyone who knew me back then or anyone who knows me now for the fact, can hardly believe how i am today and how i used to be last time when i was younger. So, i sometimes wonder did i really change or did i force myself to become someone i am not?

Hmm, maybe i shd think about that. I think i can read people very well. But i can never understand myself at all! I know by simply talking to the person once or twice if he or she would make a good friend. I can! i just can! I can tell if this person has good character! =)

Okay then, enough for today!

Praise God! I am lost in wonder, i am lost in love, i am lost in praise forevermore! Because of Jesus unfailing love, i am forgiven, i am restored.

Amen.