April 09

Time flies. It's already close to the middle of the year. Give thanks to the Lord for all He has given to us. I am disappointed over an incident and despite that, i know God loves me and all of us very much. We do not quite see it all the time but like children, they too do not see their parent's love for them all the time. But the truth is that their parents love them so much all the time!

I was looking forward to something for some time and i was totally exited about it but it never materialised, despite initial promise. That really gutted me and i was quite depressed over it. I felt a feeling of anger, injustice and disappointment and it was something that i could not quite say it in words. There were so many implications that it made me quite bitter. Yet, i know that bitterness is not one of the fruits of the spirit but still, i must admit it got me quite down.

It took me a long time to be able to write this and even now, i also cannot put it in words what i really felt. Maybe there is an area in my life that God wants me to reflect on or maybe its just His way. Maybe it did not materialise for me because someone else needed it more? I dunno. But all i do know is God loves us and we have to trust and obey. I think maybe i have not been humble enough. I felt i should have the opportunity, that i have the right to have this opportunity and that i deserve to have the opportunity. Perhaps its time to relook into my priorities.

I read books about the meaning of life, listen to people talk about the meaning of life. Sometimes, i felt they do not quite get it. But that is what i feel.

The meaning of life is to praise and glorify God through our lives. Everything we do, say or behave is supposed to reflect the glory of God. Of course, i fall short most of the time and of course i also behave or react in a way that is not correct. But that does not mean we continue to do that. I believe repentance is always necessary and yes, God always forgives when one is truly repentant. God always forgives, all the time.

Some people reject this idea and refuse to believe this is true because they think its too good to be true and that we have such a loving and forgiving Heavenly Father. But the fact is that we do!

In fact, all we have to do is to look at the relationship between parents and their children. Do not parents forgive their children when they make a mistake and later confess and repent? What joy fills the heart of parents when their children repent of their wrong ways. Do parents keep that wrongdoing in their hearts? Do they remember it so that they can always bring it up one day again? I do not think so. I believe that when parents forgive their children's mistakes, the mistake is wiped clean! It can be wiped clean because of the love the parents have for their children. Parents forgive their children because they love them, not because they had to pay back or do many good deeds to earn that forgiveness. This kind of forgiveness cannot be earned but yet it is given freely and abundantly.

So that is how the relationship is between God and us. Not that we deserve forgiveness or mercy. Not that we earned the right to be forgiven. But we are forgiven and given eternal life because God loves us so much. We cannot earn forgiveness nor do many good deeds to deserve forgiveness. Its by the grace of God that we are forgiven of our sins and given eternal life.

Thank you Heavenly Father for loving us so much!

Praise God!

Amen.