Its April already?

Wow, time does fly and its already April! One third of the year has already gone by and i am still stuck in 2006.

Anyway, i was kinda feeling down recently and i was wondering if some of my friends were not what i hoped they were.

Well, i was recently sharing the concept of friendship with a friend. I was telling her that friendship to be can be categorized into two groups. One group is those you do not see often, not too close but yet u know each other and a smile here and there and a wave or two when you walk by kind of friends. The other group are those u think make great friends and those that are for keeps. They exhibit charateristics that are deem to be able to be put in this group. My friend goes on to ask what does it take to be in this 2nd group. I told her the person must exhibit or at least show that they are kind, helpful and understanding. Not necessary towards me though. That part i will have to work for it.

So, there are people who started out in the 1st group and i gradually move them to the 2nd group. My friends are important to me. I will not hestitate to do whatever is asked of me if they need it. These people belong exclusively to the 2nd group. So, after talking, i realise that there are a few friends from my 1st group that i am depserate to move to the 2nd group. Well, if u ask me why, maybe all i can say is i really like them alot? haha. Anyway, i will then sometimes overlook the necessary criteria needed and that is why at times, i felt being disappointed and hurt by them simply because i have expected more from them.

Well, after talking to her, she made me realise that in life, sometimes we like someone so much and we hope by doing all that we can, the person will like us back just as much. However, i am still learning that this is not always true. Sometimes, you can do so so so so so much but yet the other person remains indifference and you get upset, angry, disappointed or fustrated with him or her but all this time, its entirely my fault. Its all my fault cos i put the weight of expectations on them and put in so much effort and when the results do not match the effort and time, i find them falling short. So, in fact, its all my own doing that i am upset, angry, disappointed or fustrated.

So i ask myself this question, "So do i stop making friends this way? Should i be lesser of a friend or show less concern and expect less so i will not be so hurt again?"

Well, after much thought, i find that its silly and pointless to live like this. I am not like that. When i like someone, i LIKE someone and i will do the little things and the big ones for them without any expectations cos they are worth it! I believe when you first set an example of what and how a friend should be, you will definitely have friends that exhibits the same characteristics as you and for these people, i can gladly move them to my 2nd group, as they friends for keeps!

I dunno if this makes sense but yup, like relationship, even making friends require u to be vulnerable cos when you give it your all, at times, of course u will be totally defenceless when they hurt you cos u already gave your all. However, when u give everything to it, you will reap what you have sown and you will have the chance to understand the beauty of friends.

That is what friendship is all about! =)

Praise God!

Amen