Looking into myself!

Strangely, i have not been feeling very well the last few days. In fact, i dun remember being super happy since last year June. Its like i am suffering from depression. lol! No lar, i am not in a state of depression, just feeling kinda down. Strangely, i dunno why. Maybe alot of things add up ba. Its not work pressure either. Neither is it family or friends. Rats, what is wrong with me?

I know i cannot sleep at night. I would only sleep when i doze off in front of the television. I would try to make myself as tired as possible so i can get to sleep. sigh....

I feel helpless at times. Maybe i am tired. I know i like to always be there for friends but i hate to bother them when i do need. Its just me lar. I am super weird at times. I think maybe trying to keep up and setting the benchmark is tiring i suppose. Maybe i try too hard at times to make things work. Relations are always the most tiring and the most trying of all. haha! But its the most worthwhile! Super difficult at times, leaving u with a basket full of negative emotions but the rewards if u do get them are just worth it. =) haha!

Anyway, i hope i will snap out of this soon. I think maybe i know why le. I think i keep giving people my time, energy, concern and love that i cannot replenish them fast enuff. haha! Its disappointing when u try so hard and its not appreciated. I think if u constantly get this, depression will eventually set it. haha!

I wonder how those social workers get by? They must have tons of energy, concern and love for people to do what they do everyday. Giving and giving and receiving little. They are the real deal!

I wonder what's going on in my head. It feels tight at times, i sigh more heavily(i noticed it too) and sometimes, i feel out of sorts and i will just shout out in the middle of the night in my sleep. Yup, i woke myself up a few times. Sheer helplessness at times. sigh. Ya, i am worried abt myself too.

I know what i have to do. Of course prayer lah, what else? hee hee! But its true. Prayer is powerful! It really is!

Praise God!

Amen.