November 09

I used to think 2010 was some far away year and by then, we did be so advanced we could be travelling by air as a means of normal public transport. lol!

Well, i think in a way, technology has made us "fly" thur the internet. We are zooming from MSN to FB to Twitter and whatever new stuff that is on the pipeline.

At times, i wish i could just cry out for time to just slow down a little. Maybe i shd be telling myself to slow down a little. Time flies and at broadband speed at that as well.

I worry more these days. Much more and often i cannot help it. Of course Jesus says do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has its own worries. Well, its hard not to worry sometimes. I realise one of my biggest worry is letting people down. I think i will freeze at the thought that someone felt i had let them down. Carrying someone else's weight of expectations on your shoulders is not easy and unwise as well. And yet, to know i had fallen short of one's expectations really depresses me. I felt a sense of uselessness and guilt. I did kick myself over it and to be honest, i hate it when someone makes me feel like this. I think for both work as well as relationships, i take it harder i guess than most people.

Of course, there is the rationale of why let other people's views affect u? It is their perspective and their self imposed weight of expectations anyway. I never promised anything. This reminded me of how i felt when i am watching Liverpool. I always wanted the best for them, to win every game and i always rooted for them! However, when they lost games they shd have won, i hated them for making me feel disappointed. But then again, its all me. I wanted the win! I wanted them to be Champions. I wanted them to beat the heck of out Manchester United. haha!

Anyway, i remembered i cried when Liverpool lost 0-2 to Arsenal to lose the league title on the last day of the season. I think i was only nine years old then. I could not sleep the whole night and i finally fell asleep out of exhausion. Yeah, i was that kind of a fan (or fanatic)

Anyway, work has not been ideal. Has not been for a while but who really has the perfect job? lol!

But i do believe i have my priorities right. I thank God for His love, mercy and grace. I know at times i read the Bible or Daily Bread but my mind actually wonders and i am reading the words but i am not getting the intended message.

Christmas is just next month and what a wonderful day it is, where our Lord Jesus was born. God has sent Him to redeem us from sin and to give us eternal life.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things on earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His Glory and Grace.

Yes, my friends, when we turn our eyes to Jesus, the glory of our Lord dims everything else. Work problems, quarrels, anger, jealousy and hatred suddenly seems strangely trival when we turn our eyes to our Lord.

Praise God!

Amen